IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph shows the life expectancy of people living in Asian regions from 1950 and predicts life expectancy until 2300.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The line graph compares
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy at birth in six Asian
regions
Use synonyms
 between 1950 and 2300, including projected figures for the later
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy is expected to increase considerably in all six
regions
Use synonyms
 throughout the period. Other Eastern
Asia
Use synonyms
 has the highest figure for almost the entire timeframe and is predicted to remain well ahead of the other
regions
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the differences among most of the remaining areas are expected to become relatively small by 2300. In 1950,
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy in Other Eastern
Asia
Use synonyms
 stood at just over 50
years
Use synonyms
, compared with roughly 40–45
years
Use synonyms
 in most of the other
regions
Use synonyms
. Over the following decades, all areas experienced substantial growth. Other Eastern
Asia
Use synonyms
 rose particularly rapidly, reaching approximately 75
years
Use synonyms
 by around 1990 and about 84
years
Use synonyms
 in 2050. Meanwhile, the figures for the other
regions
Use synonyms
 generally increased to between approximately 74 and 80
years
Use synonyms
 by 2050. After 2050, the upward trend is predicted to continue,
although
Linking Words
 at a slower rate. By 2100, most
regions
Use synonyms
 are expected to record
life
Use synonyms
 expectancies of slightly above 80
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Other Eastern
Asia
Use synonyms
 will reach around 88
years
Use synonyms
. By 2300, its figure is forecast to exceed 100
years
Use synonyms
. China is projected to rank second at approximately 98
years
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other four
regions
Use synonyms
 are expected to cluster at around 93–95
years
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words life, regions, years, asia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: