IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

ome people believe that public libraries are no longer necessary because people can access information and books online. Others believe that public libraries are still important and should be funded by the government. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Public
libraries
Use synonyms
 are often a subject of debate, some arguing that offering them for free is a waste of public funds,
while
Linking Words
 others, including myself, believe they are essential and should be
mainatianed
Correct your spelling
maintained
 at no cost to the public.In my view, free
libraries
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 provide
cricual
Correct your spelling
crucial
 support to those who lack resources to
access
Use synonyms
 information
otherwise
Linking Words
.
Body paragraph 1
Criticis
Correct your spelling
Critics
 argue that in an
rea
Correct your spelling
era
 where
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
internet
Use synonyms
 is widely accessible, maintaining public
libraries
Use synonyms
 is an inefficient use of money. They contend that individuals with higher socioeconomic status can easily afford personal devices,
internet
Use synonyms
 connections, and books, making
libraries
Use synonyms
 redundant for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 needs.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine never
vistied
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visited
 the library because he had all the resources
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the latest textbooks and fast
internet
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available
Punctuation problem
, available
show examples
 at home. From his perspective, public
libraries
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 seemed unnecessary.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 view fails to consider the needs of economically disadvantaged individuals. Many people, particularly students, rely on public
librairies
Correct your spelling
libraries
 as
thier
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their
 only source of free
access
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 to educational materials , computers, and the
internet
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. Without these
resouraces
Correct your spelling
resources
,
thier
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their
 ability to excel academically would be severely limited. I personally experienced
this
Linking Words
 during my university years when I had no
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 or computer at home. The local library provided me with the necessary tools to complete my studies, and without it ,
Iwould
Correct your spelling
I would
 have
struggle
Wrong verb form
struggled
show examples
 to graduate and improve my financial situation.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some believe that funding public
libraries
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 is a waste. I strongly contend that these institutions are a critical investment. They provide equal
access
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 to knowledge and opportunities, especially for those who cannot afford
alternative
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alternatives
show examples
, ultimately contributing to social progress.

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Task response
You discuss both sides and make your own view clear. To make the first side more full, add one more reason why some people think libraries are not needed, such as the cost of staff and buildings.
Task response
Your own view is clear and well supported. The personal example is useful because it shows how a library can help a student who has no computer or internet at home.
Task response
Keep all ideas close to the exact question. The first paragraph says that libraries are free, but the main issue is whether the government should pay for them. Link these two ideas more clearly.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, as you do with “For instance”, “However”, and “In conclusion”. You can also use “As a result” to show the effect of having no free library services.
Coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences have too many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences so the meaning is more clear. Also check full stops and spaces after them.
Task response
You answer every part of the question and give a firm view that public libraries should receive public money.
Task response
The example from your university years is specific, relevant, and helps explain your main point.
Coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear focus, and the contrast between the two views is easy to understand.
Coherence and cohesion
The conclusion brings your main view back and explains the wider good for society.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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