IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that social media has a positive effect on society, while others think it has a negative effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In the beginning, social
media
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a platform that
consists
Wrong verb form
consisted
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 of people who
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 short videos.
However
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 has both positive and negative effects.
In addition
Linking Words
, there
many
Verb problem
are many
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 effects
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 positive and negative
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example
of
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 positive
impact
Check wording
impacts
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 are learning new things and improving your language.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other
side
Check wording
hand
show examples
,
for instance
Linking Words
of,
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, negative impacts
bad
Punctuation problem
, bad
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 content and waste of time.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, there are many reasons to see some people against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because of
 bad content and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time.
first
Capitalize the word
First
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 of all, social
media
Use synonyms
 affects
more effecitively on kids
Correct word order
kids more effectively
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 by wasting their time on silly things and
unuseful
Correct word choice
useless
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 videos. Second and
finally
Linking Words
,
is
Correct pronoun usage
there is
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 bad content which is affect on kids negatively in many parts like in
beviour
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 or in critical thinking.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there are many causes for seeing social
media
Use synonyms
 in
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 way because of
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 and improving your skills or your kids.
Firstly
Linking Words
, learning new things,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 if you want to learn a new
language
Punctuation problem
language,
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 you can
by
Verb problem
do so by
show examples
 learning from your phone
only
Punctuation problem
, only
show examples
 do you imgane.
Finally
Linking Words
, improving your skills by using social
media
Use synonyms
 apps
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
chating
Use the right word
chatting
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 or
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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 your social skills by
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
show examples
 with different people from different cultures.
Conclusion
In summary, there are many reasons for
beining
Correct your spelling
being
 with or against social
media
Use synonyms
 or technology.
Therefore
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, I will learn from social
media
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 intend to be informed about what is new.
Also
Linking Words
, I plan to benefit from it in my future business.

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task response
Explain each main idea more. For example, say how bad videos can change a child’s way of thinking, and say how social media can help a person learn a language.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. Instead of only saying “learn from your phone”, give one example, such as watching short English lessons every day and using new words in a chat.
task response
Make your own view stronger. In the ending, clearly say that social media is good when people use it with care, but it can be bad when people spend too much time on it.
task response
Stay close to the question. The first line says social media is a place for short videos, but social media is also used for news, chat, study, and work.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. In the bad side paragraph, first write about lost time, then write about bad content. Give an example after each idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Try: “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “However”. Do not use “Finally” when you only have two points.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because they are too long or not complete. Write short, clear sentences. For example: “Children may spend too much time watching silly videos. As a result, they may have less time for school work.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same words, such as “many reasons” and “positive and negative”. Use simple changes like “good side”, “bad side”, “help”, and “harm”.
task response
You talk about both good and bad sides of social media. You also give your own view in the last part.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: learning and language on one side, and bad videos and lost time on the other.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Words such as “On one hand” and “On the other hand” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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