IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Essay type: Discussion Theme: Some people feel that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is a better in the countryside

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Introduction
Where to live has been a very interesting topic
theses
Use the right word
these
show examples
 days,
weather
Use the right word
whether
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 it's in the beautiful natural side of the world or in the heart of ticnology fast pace and beautiful
arctecture
Correct your spelling
architecture
 of buildings.
some
Capitalize the word
Some
show examples
 individuals look for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace and serenity surrounded by lots of trees, wild animals and the sounds of Mother
Natur
Correct your spelling
Nature
. Usually older generation
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
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 that
While
Linking Words
 younger individuals shift more into the
city
Use synonyms
 and the
city
Use synonyms
 life
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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 it easier for them to access
to
Change preposition
apply
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the digital world and job
opportunities
Punctuation problem
opportunities,
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 as all companies are mainly located in the heart of the busy life of the
city
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
In
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views, and I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that living in country side is better for many reasons that I
would be tackling
Wrong verb form
will tackle
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, people usually move around based on their jobs and the income to survive
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 in
this
Linking Words
economy
Punctuation problem
economy,
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 most job opportunities are in the
city
Use synonyms
 only. And that happens for different reasons, one of which is that companies are around their competitors to be up to date with any changes that would occur,
therefore
Linking Words
 you will find many individuals prefer the
city
Use synonyms
 to secure their future even if they originally wanted to stay in the suburbs, they will be chasing financial stability and some really enjoy it because
this
Linking Words
 is their normal and they grew up to their intire life.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the majority who would prefer living
further
Linking Words
 away from the
city
Use synonyms
 mostly are people with financial stability like retired men or women whom they don't have any need to be in the
city
Use synonyms
 and they sent their kids to collages and jobs
therefore
Linking Words
 it's on their new genarationto to move the economic wheele, or rich people that prefer to be away from the noise and the pollution, they usually prefer to be surrounded by nature and the sound of birds waking them up in the morning and good quality of air.
Conclusion
In conclusion, living away from the
polotion
Correct your spelling
pollution
 to the good air quality and away from the noise of cars, planes and
motor's
Check wording
motors
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 to the sound of horses p, cows and chickens would always be my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 way of living, surrounded by the smell of the trees and rivers and
genuin
Correct your spelling
genuine
 connection.

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task response
Make each view more fully explained. For city life, add one clear example, such as a young worker who can get a job, use public transport, and meet people easily.
task response
For country life, explain why peace and clean air matter in daily life. For example, say that people may sleep better, feel less stress, and have more time outside.
task response
Your own view is clear, but it comes again mainly in the last part. State it in a simple, direct way after you discuss both sides, then support it with two strong reasons.
task response
Avoid ideas that are too wide or not fully shown, such as all companies being in cities or most country people being retired or rich. Use softer words like “many” or “some”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The first body paragraph should focus only on why people choose cities. The second should focus only on why people choose the countryside.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and join many ideas. Break them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear paragraph plan: introduce the two views; explain city life; explain country life; give your view and end.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph a true ending. Do not add many new images there. Instead, briefly repeat both sides and clearly say why you choose the countryside.
task response
You discuss both city life and country life, and you clearly say that you prefer the countryside.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant: work and money for city life, and peace, clean air, and less noise for country life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear linking words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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