IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

While vaccination is prevention for many disease, some parents do not allow their children to get them

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Nowadays,
Vaccination
Use synonyms
 is how we protect ourselves
before we got
Change preposition
from getting
show examples
 sick.
Vaccination
Use synonyms
 is the procedure that use for activate
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
body
Use synonyms
 to produce
immune
Replace the word
immunity
. Some parents
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not believe in
this
Linking Words
 theory. Some believe that it
sound
Correct subject-verb agreement
sounds
show examples
 like they let microbes into their
kids
Check wording
kids' bodies
show examples
body
Use synonyms
 and make their kids
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 sick, so some parents
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 want their children to
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 vaccinated. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
vaccination
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
.
Vaccination
Use synonyms
 is how to protect ourselves,
also
Linking Words
 can stimulate our
body
Use synonyms
 to
stronger
Verb problem
be stronger
show examples
 and can fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
diseases. Before the company launched the vaccine, they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to make sure that the vaccine
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 than disadvantage to reciever. At
first
Add a comma
first,
show examples
 the researchers or the scientists have to produce the vaccine by
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing the
show examples
 level of microbes and inject
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 low-level microbes into
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
body
Use synonyms
 for activates immune
in
Check wording
system in
show examples
 our
bodys
Correct your spelling
bodies
,
then
Linking Words
 they started
test
Wrong verb form
testing
show examples
 with
animal
Check wording
animals
show examples
, mostly they chose
monkey
Check wording
monkeys
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 because monkey is familiar with
human
Check wording
humans
show examples
. Some researchs test directly to human. The human-tested
researchs
Check wording
research
show examples
 is more reliable than
animal-tested
Correct article usage
an animal-tested
show examples
 study.

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task response
Answer all parts of the topic. Explain both why some parents do not want vaccines and why you think vaccines are good.
task response
Develop each main idea. For example, say that some parents fear side effects or do not trust health groups, then explain why these fears may be wrong.
task response
Add one clear, real example. You could write about how vaccines help stop a disease from spreading at school or in a town.
task response
Your second paragraph has too much detail about making vaccines. Keep only the most useful points and link them back to parents’ fears.
task response
Finish with a short conclusion that repeats your main view and gives a final reason.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple paragraph plan: introduction, reasons parents say no, your view with reasons, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. For example: “One reason some parents refuse vaccines is fear of side effects.”
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show contrast and result: “However”, “For example”, “Because of this”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “vaccination is how”. Use shorter, clearer sentences, such as “Vaccines help the body fight disease before a person gets sick.”
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and agreement so your meaning is clear. For example, write “parents do not believe”, “children’s bodies”, and “do not want their children to be vaccinated”.
task response
You clearly give your view: vaccines can protect people from disease.
task response
You include a relevant point about tests before a vaccine is used.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas have a clear basic order: what vaccines do, why some parents worry, and how vaccines are tested.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “Nowadays”, “At first”, and “then”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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