IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Earlier technological development brought more changes to the life of ordinary people than recent technological development do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Technological development has transformed human life dramatically over the past few centuries. Some
people
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 argue that
inventions
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made
Change preposition
of
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 the past brought greater
changes
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 to the lives of ordinary
people
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 than modern technological advancements. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because,
although
Linking Words
 earlier
inventions
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 had a profound impact, recent technologies have affected a wider range of everyday activities and have made these
changes
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 more rapid and widespread.
Body paragraph 1
There is no doubt that earlier technological developments significantly improved
people
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's lives. The invention and widespread use of electricity
;
Punctuation problem
,
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for example
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, revolutionised homes, workplaces and public services.
Similarly
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, cars and other forms of modern transportation made it possible for
people
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 to travel much faster and over great distances. The telephone has transformed communication by allowing individuals to contact relatives, friends and businesses without having to meet in person.
these
Capitalize the word
These
show examples
inventions
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 laid the foundations for many aspects of modern society and were particularly important in improving living standards.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, recent technological developments have arguably brought even more extensive
changes
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 to everyday life. The internet and smartphones have made communication almost instantaneous, enabling
people
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 to make video calls, share information and maintain relationships regardless of geographical distance. Technology has
also
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 transformed the way
people
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 work and study. Employees can now work remotely,
while
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 students can attend online courses and access vast amounts of educational material from their homes.
In addition
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, online banking, shopping and digital payment systems have made routine activities considerably faster and more convenient. More recently, artificial intelligence has begun to influence areas
such
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 as healthcare, education and employment, suggesting that the impact of modern technology will continue to grow.
Conclusion
In conclusion, earlier technological
inventions
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 undoubtedly brought revolutionary
changes
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, particularly through improvements in electricity, transport and communication.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that recent technological developments have had a greater
overall
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 influence because they have transformed almost every aspect of daily life and continue to evolve at an unprecedented pace,

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same: you disagree. To make the answer even stronger, compare the old and new changes more directly. For example, explain why phones and the internet change daily life more than the first telephone did.
task response
Your main points are well explained: new tools affect work, study, money, shopping, and contact with other people. Add one short real-life example, such as a worker in a small town doing a job for a company far away.
task response
The point about AI is useful, but it is still quite new. Say more clearly that its full effect is not known yet, so it is less strong proof than the internet or smart phones.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, old changes, new changes, and ending. Keep using one main idea in each body part, as you do here.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “Similarly”, “However”, and “In addition” help the reader follow your ideas. You could also use a clearer compare link, such as “By contrast” or “This is wider than the change caused by earlier tools.”
coherence and cohesion
A few small writing points should be fixed for smoother reading: use “in the past”, start “These inventions” with a capital letter, and end the final sentence with a full stop rather than a comma.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a firm view throughout the essay.
task response
The examples are relevant and easy to understand, especially electricity, transport, the internet, online learning, and online banking.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear job, and the conclusion restates your main view without adding a new idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a natural way from earlier inventions to recent technology, which makes the essay easy to read.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological progress
  • ordinary households
  • fundamental change
  • basic living conditions
  • labour-saving appliances
  • public health
  • transport infrastructure
  • mass production
  • digital technology
  • instant communication
  • internet access
  • online services
  • remote working
  • cashless payments
  • access to information
  • medical advances
  • improve life expectancy
  • transform daily routines
  • a solid foundation
  • far-reaching impact
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