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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant workers in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.

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The table illustrates how many provisional settlers had worked in two different years
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as 2003 and
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
show examples
 in four different
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
,
also
Linking Words
what is these workerss
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 number
in
Change preposition
of these workers in
show examples
 every 1000
people
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is clear that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the indicators increased in all given countries, like Australia, New
Zeelanda
Correct your spelling
Zealand
, Unites
Kingdom
Use synonyms
, United
States
Use synonyms
.
United
Correct article usage
The United
show examples
States
Use synonyms
 was the highest level in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 given years.
Opposite
Correct article usage
The opposite
show examples
 was true
New
Change preposition
for New
show examples
zealand
Use synonyms
 which was the least
pefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 for
per
Correct determiner usage
every
show examples
 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2006, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 came
first
Punctuation problem
first,
show examples
 unlike
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
Use synonyms
. In 2003, Unites
States
Use synonyms
 constitutes majority with 577
thousand
Use synonyms
 migrant workers. The second country which was the most
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 by foreign individuals was
Autralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 with 152
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it continues with
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 and New
Zealand
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
accordingly
Linking Words
 137
thousand
Use synonyms
 and 65
thousand
Use synonyms
 temporary settlers
had
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
operated
here
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. On the one hand, the number of migrant workers rose in 2026
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 they changed their positions
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per 1000
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the countries like Australia, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 and Unites
States
Use synonyms
 had respectively 219,000; 87,000; 266,000; 678,000 migrant
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 who worked there,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the number of
in
Check wording
migrants
show examples
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 was 10.7 in Australia, 21.1 in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
, 4.4 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 and 2.3 in Unites
States
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, kingdom, states, zealand, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Temporary migrant workers
  • Labor mobility
  • Statistical data
  • Insights
  • Trends
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Economic growth
  • Demand for labor
  • Immigration policies
  • Disparities
  • Concentration
  • Comparative analysis
  • Consequences
  • Economic impact
  • Cultural integration
  • Social services
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