IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Global
fashion
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 has become an increasingly powerful influence on the way
people
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 dress, largely because of the rapid development of digital technology and social media.
People
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 across different countries are now exposed to the same
styles
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, celebrities and online personalities, making
fashion
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trends
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 spread more quickly than ever before. In my opinion,
this
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 is largely a negative development because it can reduce individuality and encourage
people
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, particularly younger generations, to seek social approval through their appearance.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason global
fashion
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 has become so influential is the widespread use of social media platforms.
People
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 spend considerable amounts of time scrolling through applications
such
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 as TikTok and Instagram, where they are constantly exposed to international
trends
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 and influencer culture.
In addition
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, algorithms repeatedly recommend content based on users’ previous interests, which means that similar
styles
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 are shown to them again and again.
As a result
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,
fashion
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trends
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 can spread rapidly across national boundaries and become familiar to large numbers of
people
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 within a short period of time.
Body paragraph 2
Another important factor is the human desire to fit in socially. Teenagers and young adults are especially vulnerable to peer pressure and are often influenced by what is considered fashionable within their social groups.
For example
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, young
people
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 may follow viral clothing
trends
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 simply because they want to feel accepted by their peers.
Consequently
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, they may begin to imitate the
styles
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 they see online without considering whether these
trends
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 genuinely reflect their personal tastes or identities.
Body paragraph 3
I believe
this
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 development is negative because excessive conformity can gradually weaken individuality. When
people
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 repeatedly follow the same global
trends
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, they may become less willing to experiment with their own style or express their personalities through clothing. Over time,
this
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 can result in greater similarity in the way
people
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 present themselves and may reduce the diversity that
fashion
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 traditionally allows. If individuals increasingly prioritise online approval over genuine self-expression, originality may become less valued.
Conclusion
In conclusion, global
fashion
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 has become highly influential because social media and digital technology allow
trends
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 to spread rapidly and encourage
people
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 to imitate widely accepted
styles
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.
Although
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 global
fashion
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 can make international
trends
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 more accessible, I regard its
overall
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 impact as negative because it may undermine individuality and genuine self-expression.

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task response
Make the second part a little more full. You say that global fashion can make styles from other countries easy to see, but you do not explain this good side. Add one short example, then show why the bad side is still stronger.
task response
Give one more real and clear example. For instance, name a type of clothing that became popular online, explain how it spread, and say how it made people copy one look.
coherence and cohesion
The two body paragraphs about causes are close in meaning. Make the link clearer: social media spreads the trends, while the wish to fit in makes people follow them.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links that show cause and result, such as "This means that", "Because of this", and "For this reason". Do not use too many; keep each link natural.
coherence and cohesion
In the last body paragraph, add a short sentence that connects the loss of personal style to your main view. This will make the end of the argument feel stronger.
task response
You answer both parts of the question clearly. You explain why world fashion has a strong effect, and you give a clear view that this is mostly negative.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to follow: social media, the wish to fit in, and the loss of personal style. The example of young people following online clothing trends is relevant.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, two reason paragraphs, one view paragraph, and a closing. Each paragraph has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as "In addition", "As a result", "For example", and "In conclusion" help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global
  • fashion
  • clothes
  • dress
  • wear
  • look
  • style
  • brand
  • label
  • shop
  • price
  • money
  • media
  • ads
  • post
  • like
  • world
  • culture
  • express
  • expression
  • culture
  • work
  • jobs
  • earth
  • environment
  • press
  • pressure
  • spend
  • buy
  • design
  • trend
  • brand
  • celeb
  • celebrity
  • internet
  • online
  • shop
  • social
  • media
  • fashion
  • trend
  • idea
  • choice
  • fit
  • color
  • color
  • cloth
  • fabric
  • hand
  • care
  • harm
  • good
  • bad
  • benefit
  • loss
  • balance
  • relation
  • impact
  • effect
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