IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that government should pay for healthcare and education but other disagree this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Introduction
Body paragraph 1
There are some
people
Use synonyms
trust
Correct pronoun usage
who trust
show examples
 the Gvernmert need to pay for the
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and education ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there are still
people
Use synonyms
to
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 refuse
this
Linking Words
 statement .
Body paragraph 2
There are many countries providing free
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and
educatuion
Correct your spelling
education
system
Use synonyms
 in their country where the
people
Use synonyms
 are paying income tax
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
Government use
Correct subject-verb agreement
government uses
show examples
 that tax to improve the
patient
Check wording
patient's
show examples
 financial stability and
ecnonmiic
Correct your spelling
economic
 status. Through
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it allows the poor and needy
people
Use synonyms
gets
Wrong verb form
to get
show examples
 easy access to
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 education
system
Use synonyms
reach
Verb problem
to reach
show examples
 them.
FUrthermore
Linking Words
 those who are willing to study
and
Correct word choice
but
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 financial issues they can't continue .
This
Linking Words
 free
system
Use synonyms
 assist that children to get their access to reach to destiny .
Body paragraph 3
In contrast
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the
easy
Rephrase
easily
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 accessible and free
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 , the
people
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 are abusing it for small
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
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they
coming
Wrong verb form
come
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 and
occupying
Wrong verb form
occupy
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 the place in the hospital and blocking the one who really need critical evaluation
Body paragraph 4
Or bad condition, AsA result
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
always
Verb problem
is always
show examples
 full and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 workers are insufficient to attend
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
 of them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the schools
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
also
Linking Words
 there are
few
Correct determiner usage
also a few
show examples
 children not
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 the opportunity
and
Correct word choice
to
show examples
 develop their own skills and take their studies
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
 granted.
Body paragraph 5
Conclusion:
however
Linking Words
, even though there are many disadvantages present , I agree that the giver will provide
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 and education in the country
Shiloh
Punctuation problem
, Shiloh
show examples
 I
Conclusion
Helps the needy
people
Use synonyms
 and
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
 their
co7btry
Correct your spelling
country
 in both ways .

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task response
Give a clearer answer to the full question. Say if the government should pay all costs, or only help people who cannot pay. This will make your view more complete.
task response
Develop each main point with a simple reason and one clear example. For example, free school can help a child from a poor home finish school and get a job.
task response
The point about people using hospitals for small problems is useful, but explain a fix. For example, small health centers can deal with minor problems, while hospitals treat very sick people.
task response
Some ideas are too broad. Instead of saying free services improve a patient’s money status, explain that families do not have to pay large hospital bills.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear topic sentence at the start of each body paragraph. For example: “On the one hand, free public services can make life fairer for poor families.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The first body paragraph mixes health care, school, tax, poor people, and jobs. Put the ideas in a clear order: tax money, free service, help for poor people, result.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between sentences clearer. For example: “Because the government uses tax money, poor families can get care without fear of high costs.”
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph should restate your view in a full and clear way. Avoid unclear words such as “giver” and “Shiloh I”. Write: “In my view, the government should provide free basic health care and education because these services help poor people and help the country grow.”
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and word forms, as they sometimes make meaning hard to follow. Examples include “Government”, “education”, “economic”, “country”, and “access.”
task response
You discuss both sides: free health care and school can help poor people, while free services may be used too much.
task response
Your own view is clear in the end: you support government help for health care and education.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, a paragraph for each side, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “however”, “in contrast”, “furthermore”, and “as a result” to show the link between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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