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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 

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The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 
The line chart
illustretes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 are reading through femal and
meal
Check wording
males
show examples
at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 reading
books
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 over the
beriod
Correct your spelling
period
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 reading decreased. In 2011,
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
women
Use synonyms
 was
reading at
Verb problem
apply
show examples
approximately 4200, compared with
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 for
men
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
women
Capitalize the word
Women
show examples
then
Linking Words
 increase
siginficantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 to 8000 in 2012,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
men
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
increase
slowely
Correct your spelling
slowly
 to 4000.
between
Capitalize the word
Between
show examples
 2012 and
2013
Punctuation problem
2013,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 rose
sharbly
Correct your spelling
sharply
 from 4000 to 8000. Meanwhile,
figuer
Correct your spelling
figure
 of
books
Use synonyms
 read in 2014 by
women
Use synonyms
nearly
Verb problem
was nearly
show examples
 7000. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
men
Use synonyms
 reashead apeak at 14000
at the end
Linking Words
 of peiod.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • the number of books read
  • male and female readers
  • overall trend
  • a steady increase
  • a sharp rise
  • a slight decline
  • a gradual growth
  • remain higher than
  • overtake the figure for
  • the highest figure
  • the lowest point
  • a noticeable gap
  • the difference narrowed
  • the gap widened
  • by contrast
  • respectively
  • over the four-year period
  • in the final year
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