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Writing Samples
Band 4

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
Nowadays,online improvement is becoming more popular.Many educational institution entrants choose to study online
instead
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 of face-to-face.
This
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 development has both advantages and disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
One important advantage is that many learners it seve mony .Another benefit is that classmates can study at home or in the coffee shop.
Furthermore
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,online learning takes less time because people who course do not need to travel to college.
For example
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, students who live far away from the academy can debate online and avoid spending a lot of time on transportation.
Therefore
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,admission can save more time and focus on their studies.
Body paragraph 2
However
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,there are
also
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 some disadvantages
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
One drawback is that enlistment has less social interaction.Another disadvantage is that college learners may have technical problems.
In addition
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,they may find it difficult to concentrate at home.
For instance
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,bad internet can stop recruitment from joining the class.As a ersult online study can sometimes be difficult to access.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 online discipline has disadvantages,I believe that its advantages are greater

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say that the good points are greater than the bad points, and give the main reason.
task response
Build each main point more. For example, explain how online study saves money, such as travel or housing costs. Then explain why this is important for students.
task response
Use words that fit the topic. Say students, online classes, and university, not admission, enlistment, recruitment, or discipline.
task response
Your examples are on topic, but make them more clear. The example about bad internet should show how it stops students from taking part in a live class.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, good points, bad points, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main idea. Then add two or three lines to explain it before giving an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Use 'For example' for an example and 'As a result' for a result. Put a space after each comma and full stop.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because key words are missing or wrong. For example, write 'many learners can save money' and 'students do not need to travel to college'.
coherence and cohesion
In the end, restate your view in a full sentence: 'I believe the advantages of online education outweigh the disadvantages because it saves time and money.'
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of online study, and you give your own view at the end.
task response
You use helpful topic ideas, such as saving travel time, studying from home, less social time, poor internet, and trouble focusing.
coherence and cohesion
The body parts are separated into advantages and disadvantages, so the reader can follow your main plan.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as 'Furthermore', 'For example', 'However', and 'In conclusion'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distance learning
  • E-learning platforms
  • Virtual classrooms
  • Traditional education
  • Digital resources
  • Self-paced learning
  • Asynchronous learning
  • Blended learning
  • Technological infrastructure
  • Student engagement
  • Time management
  • Cost-effective
  • Geographical barriers
  • Networking opportunities
  • Face-to-face interaction
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