IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Will artificial intelligence improve education? With opinion and example.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 is one of the most modern technologies shaping
people
Use synonyms
's lives, enhancing efficiency and productivity for a better experience, especially in
education
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 can improve
people
Use synonyms
’s learning through classes and reflect their improvement needs.
For example
Linking Words
, during classes, artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 improves the ability to save information so students can revise it at any time. So, it improves
education
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
From my point of view, it should be used with some limitations to minimise drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as eye strain.
Body paragraph 3
Furthermore
Linking Words
, artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 can increase
people
Use synonyms
's attention in class by providing rhythm and sensory experiences that connect with
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
In addition
Linking Words
, it can reduce the time required for each class. From my point of view, all these processes require budget management to ensure high efficiency.
Body paragraph 4
Moreover
Linking Words
, artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 can teach children to manage their behaviour and thinking by addressing issues in their minds. From my point of view, authorities should make
people
Use synonyms
 aware of how to use artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 to minimise its time-consuming impact.
Body paragraph 5
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government should take responsibility for preventing hackers or corruption that
distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 will reflect
people
Use synonyms
's needs through
education
Use synonyms
, and that will improve their
intelligence
Use synonyms
.
Education
Use synonyms
 will be highly regarded
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other countries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your opinion clearly in the first paragraph. For example: “I believe AI will improve education if schools use it in the right way.” Keep this same view in every main paragraph.
task response
Explain each main idea more fully. Do not only say that AI saves information or raises attention. Say how this helps students learn, such as by letting them go back over a hard lesson at home.
task response
Use one clear, real example. You could describe a student who uses an AI study tool to find weak areas in maths and then gets more practice on those areas.
task response
Some points are too broad or unclear, such as AI teaching children to manage their behaviour and thinking. Use simple, direct ideas about learning, teacher support, practice, and feedback.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction with your view, one main reason, a second main reason, and a conclusion. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one main point. Then add an explanation and an example. Avoid putting several different ideas, such as health, money, and class time, in one paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. “To begin with”, “Furthermore”, and “Moreover” are helpful, but the ideas after them must connect clearly. Also use simple links such as “because”, “as a result”, and “for example”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion shorter and closer to your opinion. Do not add a new idea about other countries. Restate why AI can help education and mention the need for safe use.
task response
You answer the main question and give a clear positive view of AI in education. You also mention possible problems, such as eye strain and unsafe use.
task response
You include an example about students saving class information and looking at it again later. This is linked to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, several body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This gives the writing a clear overall shape.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraph starters such as “To begin with”, “Furthermore”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion” to show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: