IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates the
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 for 5 different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who attended
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club remained the
higheset
Correct your spelling
highest
 during the whole period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 joining film
club
Check wording
clubs
show examples
 and martial arts remained relatively stable,
while
Linking Words
 amateur dramatics
'
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apply
show examples
 declined after a small increase in 2004. As for Table tennis and musical performances, they underwent an upward trend during the period. To elaborate,
there are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around 65
people
Use synonyms
 joined the film club in 2000. It hit its bottom, which was 60
people
Use synonyms
, in 2010 and rebounded afterwards. As for martial arts, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 showed little fluctuation between 30
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 40, staying within 10
people
Use synonyms
. Amateur dramatics had 25
participants
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 and climbed slightly before 2005.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 plummeted, and less than 10
people
Use synonyms
 participated in amateur dramatics in 2020. Looking at table tennis, the
number
Use synonyms
 grew to 20 and
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off from 2005 to 2010. But the
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
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 surged to more than 50
people
Use synonyms
 and became the second highest
at the end
Linking Words
. Musical performances
established
Verb problem
were established
show examples
 in 2005, and the
number
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 rose
stabily
Use the right word
steadily
show examples
 to around 20
people
Use synonyms
 in the next 15 years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, number, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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