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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over six months in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons here relevant.

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The given line graph illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of inquiries received by the tourist
information
Use synonyms
 office
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 between January and June
of
Change preposition
apply
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2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, requests are divided by communication kind: in person, by letter/ emal and by
telephone
Use synonyms
. Face-to-face and
telephone
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
inquires
Replace the word
inquiries
 dramatically increased,
whereas
Linking Words
letter
Check wording
letters
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 and email become consistently less popular. In January 2011,
people
Use synonyms
 were asking for
information
Use synonyms
 mainly by
telephone
Use synonyms
. In fact, the graph shows more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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 850
telephone
Use synonyms
 inquiries, against
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer than
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then
Linking Words
 800 written requests and just over 400
people
Use synonyms
 who asked for
information
Use synonyms
 in person.
In person
Correct your spelling
In-person
 requests started rising consistently, overtaking written
Use synonyms
inquires
Replace the word
inquiries
at the end
Linking Words
 of February and
telephones
Replace the word
telephone inquiries
inquires
Use synonyms
 in the middle of March, reaching
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 peak in June, with almost 2000
people
Use synonyms
 entering the Tourist Office.
Information
Use synonyms
 asked by phone
also
Linking Words
 increased,
altough
Correct your spelling
although
 less drammatically
then
Linking Words
 face-to-face ones. In fact, the figure reached 1600
people
Use synonyms
..
Punctuation problem
.
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On the other hand
Linking Words
, written
inquires
Use synonyms
 significantilly decreased, dropping until May and
then
Linking Words
 levelling off at just under 400.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words information, telephone, inquires, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inquiries = questions from people
  • in person = by visiting the office
  • by telephone = by phone
  • by letter/email = in written form
  • go up = rise / increase
  • go down = fall / decrease
  • steadily = slowly and regularly
  • sharply = quickly and a lot
  • overtake = become higher than
  • the highest = the most
  • the lowest = the least
  • at the beginning of the period
  • by the end of the period
  • from January to June
  • overall, it is clear that...
  • the number of inquiries
  • show an upward trend
  • show a downward trend
  • remain stable = stay the same
  • make a comparison
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