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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, it is possible for both scientists and tourists to go to explore natural environments that are far away from the place where they live, such as the South Pole. This essay will discuss the benefits and the drawbacks of this development

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Introduction
Both scientists and tourists can discover natural environments far from where they live.
For instance
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, the South Pole. So,
this
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 development.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the advantages help to increase knowledge and understanding.
In addition
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, there will be new opportunities to develop your awareness
about
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of
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 different treatments and cultures.
For example
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, you might discover a new cure for cancer and learn new cultural habits,
such
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 as eating and weddings. From my point of view, that would be a good chance to develop your expertise and experience.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the disadvantages are the extra money and skills you need to learn at first.
For instance
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, if you want to go to the USA, specifically in California, you need around 50,000 dollars to manage the trip for the first 4 months. In my opinion, it needs a wider budget range to reduce the drawbacks.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, so the government should provide facilities for individuals.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Write about travel to very far natural places, not travel to cities such as California. Explain both good and bad sides in more detail.
task response
Use ideas that fit the South Pole example. Good points may include new science, better knowledge of Earth, and new jobs. Bad points may include harm to nature, danger, high cost, and waste.
task response
Make each main point clear, then explain why it matters. For example, say how a new study in the South Pole can help people understand weather change.
task response
Be careful with examples. A new cancer cure and local wedding habits are not well linked to visits to far natural places. Choose real, close examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part form is clear: start, good side, bad side, end. Keep this form, but make the ideas in each part more fully linked.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic lines. For example: “One major benefit is that scientists can study the Earth.” Then give one or two linked details.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “because”, “therefore”, “however”, and “as a result”. Do not only list ideas with “In addition” and “For example”.
coherence and cohesion
The last line says the good sides are stronger, but it does not explain why. Add a short final reason that connects to the two main parts.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides, and you give your own view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. The use of “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps the reader follow your plan.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ecosystems
  • flora and fauna
  • remote locations
  • boost the local economy
  • advancements in technology
  • environmental degradation
  • resource depletion
  • ecological consequences
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
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