IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many person are opting for several career options as compared to a single career option to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Frist
Correct your spelling
First
 of all i think to preform god in your
Use synonyms
career
Punctuation problem
career,
show examples
 you need to find your passion and
new
Verb problem
learn
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 how to do
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 with it in your line
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
.If you new your talented in
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 and you
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
 do
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 with
it
Punctuation problem
it,
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 you will feel
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 missing in your life.On one hand alot of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 will choose a
career
Use synonyms
 that
earn
Correct subject-verb agreement
earns
show examples
 more money but
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
works
Check wording
work
show examples
 hours
,some
Punctuation problem
. Some
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 of
tham
Correct your spelling
them
 need to feed there familys they depend on them
on
Punctuation problem
. On
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 the other side
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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 thought money
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 bring happiness and joy
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 they
didnt new
Correct your spelling
didn't know
 they
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 have no time to enjoy
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 money.See
career
Use synonyms
 options and
compared
Wrong verb form
compare
show examples
 if you
found
Wrong verb form
find
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 the
career
Use synonyms
 and you say to
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
 that
the
Correct pronoun usage
it's the
show examples
 one for me.It
important
Verb problem
is important
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 to work in
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 you enjoy some poeple work as
painter
Fix the agreement mistake
painters
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 or
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
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I have a friend
in a day he
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 told me
when
Correct word choice
that when
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 was a kide i wanted to be
painter
Correct article usage
a painter
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 wanted to travel to
Use synonyms
london
Capitalize the proper name
London
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 to see the gallery they have alot of
god painted and i want to paint
Correct word order
good paintings. I want to paint Big Ben and
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 the bigben and
london
Use synonyms
 eye,like you
see
Verb problem
can see
show examples
 i have gone to
london
Use synonyms
 and pinted the bigben and
london
Use synonyms
 eye all that and i follow a
career
Use synonyms
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 love.

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task response
State your main view clearly in the first part. Say if you agree, disagree, or agree only in part. Your essay talks more about finding work you love than about having more than one career to earn more money.
task response
Answer both key ideas in the question: several career options and earning more money. Explain why people may choose more than one job, and give your own view.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and an example. For example, a person may have one full-time job and a small online job to help pay for food, rent, or school.
task response
Add a short final part that repeats your main view. This will make your answer feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs. You can write: first paragraph for your view, second paragraph for one reason, third paragraph for the other side, and final paragraph for your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences shorter. Many ideas are joined in one long sentence, so the meaning is hard to follow. Use full stops more often.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in the right way: 'First', 'However', 'For example', 'Also', and 'In the end'. Do not put too many ideas in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in each paragraph. The story about your friend is easy to understand, but connect it more clearly to the question about career choices and money.
task response
You give a clear idea that people should choose work they enjoy, not only work with more money.
task response
Your friend’s story gives a real example of someone who followed a career he loved.
coherence and cohesion
You try to show two sides with phrases like 'On one hand' and 'on the other side'.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a personal voice, and the reader can understand your main message about passion and happiness.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic necessity
  • gig economy
  • income diversification
  • personal fulfillment
  • technological advancements
  • digital platforms
  • work-life imbalance
  • stress and burnout
  • wage stagnation
  • rising cost of living
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