IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

a local comapny is looking for people to do a part time work . you would like to work at the comapny in summer explain why you want to work there say you why you think you would be suitable for this work give details of when you would be free to work

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I would like to
work
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
 because I am free at summer and you will need my
experiance
Correct your spelling
experience
. I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 working for fifteen years
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I can give more. I am an accountant
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I can use a computer if it neccesery .
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 I am
leader
Correct article usage
a leader
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is easy to control your
company
Use synonyms
. I think I am suitable because I
work
Use synonyms
 hard and I can communicate with customer friendly
.
Check wording
manner.
show examples
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 I have
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 in the summer
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I will learn from your
company
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, I am working at France Electricity
company
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I am
special
Replace the word
specialised
 in speaking France language.
In
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
last
Linking Words
 point means I can speak with
french
Correct article usage
a French
show examples
 customer if they come. The best
time
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 is
At
Fix capitalization
at
show examples
 8AM because I come after doing exercise. When I wake up i go to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 eat my breakfast . In
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 I am free and
hundred
Correct determiner usage
one hundred
show examples
 percent fucos. If you have enough people at
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 , I will
work
Use synonyms
Afternoon
Change preposition
in the afternoon
show examples
.

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task response
Answer all three parts more clearly. Say why you want the job, what skills you can bring, and the exact days and hours when you can work.
task response
Give a clearer reason for wanting this job. For example, say that you want to use your office skills, meet new people, and learn more about the company.
task response
Your work history is useful, but explain it in a simple way. Say what you did as an accountant and how this can help the company.
task response
Be careful with ideas that may sound too strong. Instead of saying you can control the company, say you can lead a team, help staff, and do your work well.
task response
Give full work times. For example: “I am free from Monday to Friday, from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. during June, July, and August.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs: start with the job you want, then write about your skills, then write about your free time, and end with a polite closing.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “First,” “Also,” “For example,” “Because,” and “Finally.” This will make the letter easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to understand, such as “Also I have not time in the summer.” Write “I have a lot of free time in the summer” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use a polite letter form. Begin with “Dear Sir or Madam,” and finish with “I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully,”
task response
You give reasons for applying: you are free in summer, you have work experience, and you can use a computer.
task response
You include useful skills, such as hard work, friendly talk with customers, team leadership, and speaking French.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words such as “Also,” “For example,” and “In last point.”
coherence and cohesion
You give a clear main idea about your work time: you prefer to start at 8 a.m., but you can work in the afternoon too.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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