Some people think sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while other believe it is a vital part of education. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

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Introduction
The sport in the
school
Use synonyms
is very important for the young people because it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
shows the talent. And its chance for his future because the clubs
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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to sign a youth player.
Body paragraph 1
In my opinion , there are
alot
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a lot
of advantages of sports in the
school
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. When they play
football
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football,
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the teacher will see the best player and will ask
local
Correct article usage
the local
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club to show his talent.
For example
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, my friend
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was a
superstars
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superstar
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player and the
locals
Replace the word
local
team in my country they wants him
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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now he plays
in
Change preposition
for
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Man United. They come to my
school
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only to see him. When we were
at the end
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, they
sign
Wrong verb form
signed
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him because he has a lot of abilities
ans stregth
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and strength
.
Also
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,
its
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it's
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good for health because its make the
sugar blood
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blood sugar
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and pressure in
safe
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a safe
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range.
Body paragraph 2
The
disadvatage
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disadvantage
,
its
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it's
show examples
not
important
Rephrase
as important
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than Mathmatics or Physics. Sometimes people need more time to learn what they didn't understand in hard classes.
For example
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, to finish mathmatics the student
need
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needs
show examples
at least
Seventy five
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seventy-five
hours to finish semister and
its
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it's
show examples
hard for
student
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
. unless, Every month they
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
their talent twice a month.
another
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Another
show examples
reason is thinking about performance in the next class .
This
Linking Words
can make student unfocus in their class.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the sport is important to our health and mentality. The education
also
Linking Words
very important to their future. My
believe
Replace the word
belief
is
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
school
Use synonyms
should organise time between study and sport.

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task response
Discuss both views more fully. Explain why some people feel sport takes time and money from key school work, then explain why others see it as a key part of school life.
task response
Make your opinion clear in the first part as well as the last part. Say that sport should be part of school, but it should not take too much time from study.
task response
Your story about your friend is clear, but it is very strong and may not fit all students. Add a more common point, such as sport helping students stay well, work with others, and feel less stress.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: first part with both views and your view; one part for sport; one part for study; then a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main part with a clear first sentence. For example: “Sport can be a key part of school life.” Then give reasons and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Do not join many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same subject words. Use “students” or “young people” rather than changing between “they”, “his”, and “their” when the meaning is not clear.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear final view that school should make time for both study and sport.
task response
You give useful reasons for sport, such as health, skill, and a chance for young players to be seen by clubs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear main parts for the good side, the bad side, and the ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use examples to help the reader follow your ideas, especially the example about your friend.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic educational environment
  • physical health
  • participation in sports
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • discipline
  • personal development
  • academic performance
  • concentration
  • stress reduction
  • career success
  • resource allocation
  • injury risk
  • academic achievement
  • university preparation
  • motivational engagement
  • non-athletic students
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