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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows the number of international conferences in three cities between 1965 and 2010

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The given line chart illustrates the number of international conferences in three different cities from 1965 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in the number of
city
Use synonyms
 A in the first
year
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, but in the final
year
Use synonyms
,
city
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 represented the highest total of conference. At
first,
Linking Words
City
Use synonyms
 A recorded the highest figures, at 35 in the first
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it decreased significantly, reaching 20 by 1975.
Then
Linking Words
, it experienced some fluctuations, increasing to 30 by 2005. Until the final
year
Use synonyms
, it declined by 10, which was the lowest figure.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
city
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 had the lowest figure, at 0.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it boomed dramatically, accounting for the highest amount of conferences, at approximately 28.
However
Linking Words
,
city
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 experienced some fluctuations, but remained the highest figure, at 30. Meanwhile,
city
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 occupied second place, with approximately 31. By 2010, it declined with some fluctuations to 25;
However
Linking Words
, it remained in second place.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city, year, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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