IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

rNowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. in your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by privare companies, individuals or government? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Many medical projects
helped
Verb problem
are helped
show examples
 by
private
Correct article usage
a private
show examples
 company. In my opinion, I think the
government
Use synonyms
 should care and check with the medical
.
Check wording
community.
show examples
 Because
its
Change preposition
of its
show examples
 effect on
people
Use synonyms
 in the future.
Body paragraph 1
First,
Linking Words
the reason I go for is
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 medical should
support
Wrong verb form
be supported
show examples
 by the
government
Use synonyms
 because it's very sensitive and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 may effect negative . The fault in
this
Linking Words
 situation means
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
 money and time. The result will be nothing. Another reason
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
is making sure the medical
project
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
does not
show examples
 lead to
disaster
Correct article usage
a disaster
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 like Covid-19
Because
Punctuation problem
, Because
show examples
 its killed the economy
tourisim
Correct your spelling
tourism
, and
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 universal. When
covid
Capitalize the proper name
COVID
show examples
 began
more
Punctuation problem
, more
show examples
 than
million
Correct article usage
a million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
died . Weve lost a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 and money at that time.
Body paragraph 2
Second,
Linking Words
when the
government
Use synonyms
 supervises the
Use synonyms
project
Punctuation problem
project,
show examples
 they will be serious because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another
country
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
will not
show examples
 blame them. If there
any
Verb problem
is any
show examples
 problem with
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the project
show examples
project
Punctuation problem
project,
show examples
 another
country
Use synonyms
 will ask the
government
Use synonyms
 for the
resault
Correct your spelling
result
 and take it to
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 court that what
country
Use synonyms
 afraid
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
 If the
project
Use synonyms
 is succes the other
country
Use synonyms
 will support and make it easy because they will use it in their
country
Use synonyms
 to help their citizens. Paracetemol
when invent
Wrong verb form
was invented
show examples
,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
lot of
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 paid millions just for their citizen.
Body paragraph 3
Third,
Linking Words
the governments never lie about
sensitiv
Correct your spelling
sensitive
 things because
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 a crime and very
dengrous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
.
they
Capitalize the word
They
show examples
 will make profet insted of
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 money and lose its reputation.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
’s reputation is based on its credibility and transparency in these sensitive matters.
This
Linking Words
 is something that countries do not want to lose
Linking Words
instead
Punctuation problem
, instead
show examples
 of helping other countries develop useful projects.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Supervision and support
very
Verb problem
are very
show examples
 important by
government
Use synonyms
 because they have a
responsipolity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to be
infront
Correct your spelling
in front of
 their
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
State your main view more clearly in the first part. Say that the government should fund and control medical research, while private companies can help under strict rules.
task response
Explain each reason in a clear way. For example, say how government money can support research for all people, not only research that can make money.
task response
Be careful with the Covid-19 example. Do not say that medical projects led to Covid-19 unless you can prove this. Use safer examples, such as government checks on new drugs and vaccines.
task response
Your point about other countries and court is not clear enough. Explain what kind of problem may happen, who is responsible, and why this makes government control important.
task response
Add one strong real example. You could write about public funding for vaccines, hospitals, or basic drugs that help poor people.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, three body parts, and conclusion. Give one main idea in each body part and explain it before moving to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between ideas clearer. Use words such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion” in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning changes too fast. Keep sentences short and direct. For example, replace “because of another country not blame them” with “because they do not want other countries to blame them.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about danger, money, and country name. Develop one point fully, then give a new point.
coherence and cohesion
Check key words and sentence form, as errors can make your ideas unclear. For example, use “medical research”, “government”, “result”, “successful”, and “responsibility”.
task response
You give a clear general view that government support and control are important for medical research.
task response
You try to use real-world ideas, such as Covid-19, public safety, and drugs such as paracetamol.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, three main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic order words such as “First”, “Second”, and “Third”, which helps the reader follow your points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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