Caring for children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Since childcare is an essential aspect of society, it is suggested that all
parents
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should be required to enrol in
courses
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that teach them how to care for children. I strongly disagree with
this
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view because individuals can acquire parenting
skills
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from their own caregivers and through personal experience,
as well as
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from various available
resources
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.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost, people can learn useful parenting
skills
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from their own
parents
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. Since they were raised by them, they may have gained practical knowledge
that is
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more applicable than the general and theoretical
information
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provided in formal
courses
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.
Moreover
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, individuals with younger siblings may have already developed useful
skills
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by caring for them, allowing them to apply
this
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experience when raising their own children.
For instance
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, in Saudi Arabia, older daughters in larger families often help their mothers by taking care of their younger siblings.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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, there are plenty of
resources
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available nowadays that provide
information
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about raising children.
Parents
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can gain knowledge through online blogs, studies, videos, books, and many other free and accessible sources. They can
also
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return to these
resources
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whenever they need specific
information
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.
In contrast
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, formal
courses
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may be less practical, as people can forget much of what they learn once the course ends,
while
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some of the material may not be applicable to real-life situations.
For example
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, many mothers and doctors use TikTok to share advice on childcare, allowing
parents
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to access useful
information
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whenever they need it.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly believe that
parents
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can develop the necessary
skills
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through their caregivers, personal experience, and widely available
resources
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.
Therefore
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, formal
courses
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should not be compulsory.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same to the end. To make it stronger, also explain why a required course may not fit all parents, such as parents with work, money, or time limits.
task response
Your two main ideas are clear: learning from family and using other sources. Add one more clear step in each body part to show exactly how these ways help a parent care for a child safely and well.
task response
The examples fit your ideas. The TikTok example is useful, but say that parents should check advice from doctors or other trusted people, because not all online advice is good.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear plan: opening, two main parts, and an ending. Each part has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a little more linking inside the body parts. For example, after the Saudi Arabia example, add a short line that links it back to the main point: this kind of daily help gives people real care skills.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could be linked more closely. In the second body part, move from free online sources to the weak points of courses with a clearer bridge, such as: 'For this reason, parents may not need one fixed course.'
task response
You answer the full question and give a strong, clear view throughout the essay.
task response
Your ideas are on topic and your examples from family life and online help support them well.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending clearly state your view, and the ending matches the main ideas in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The use of phrases such as 'First and foremost', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' helps the reader follow your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • care
  • children
  • society
  • important
  • parents
  • training
  • skills
  • understand
  • needs
  • situations
  • behavior
  • safety
  • relationship
  • trust
  • love
  • outcomes
  • healthy
  • successful
  • future
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