IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
The idea of taking temporay
job
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 for an undergraduate
student
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 , I think
sometimes
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, sometimes
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 it's depentent to the
student
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's goals and orientation.
Body paragraph 1
The most important think of doing a work placement , it is courage the
student
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 to deal with business life.
For example
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, when the
student
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 spent the largest
time
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part
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 of their work at the company to make conversation with customers and make reports for customer
feedbak
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feedback
 and
then
Linking Words
 send it to the marketing department, that build self confednt for them and
also
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 improves their life skills, that's
part
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 of advatages .
Body paragraph 2
The dark
part
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 of tempory
job
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 , it's the
student
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 usually do not get the full experiances the reason behind
that is
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 the category of
this
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job
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 , which is what we called it imature experiance .
Moreover
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, some jobs need a training programme before studentsstudent apply for
this
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job
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 ,
for example
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, if undergraduate students are studying the preclinical
part
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then
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 they need to take the theoretical
part
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 if the
student
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 do not take the practical
part
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 at the university befor enjoying to the
job
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, they will waste their time and end up with unusfull experience because that kind of
job
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 requires hand skills befor apply for the
job
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 .
Conclusion
In conclusion, it's a necessary course , but we should arrange , make a great plan for it , start with the most critical question, what the program the undergraduate is looking for ,
than
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then whether
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it's need
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it needs
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 hand skills or not. After that, we decide which company the
student
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 should apply to.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say if the good points are greater than the bad points, and keep this view from the start to the end.
task response
Write about both study abroad and work placement. Your essay is mostly about temporary jobs, so one part of the topic is missing.
task response
Make your main ideas fuller. Explain why work or study abroad helps students, and why the bad points may or may not be more important.
task response
Use examples that are easy to follow. The customer-report example is useful, but say clearly how it helps a student in later study or work.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, good points, bad points, and conclusion. Put one main idea in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with a short main sentence. For example: “Work placement can help students prepare for work.” Then give an explanation and example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “First”, “However”, “For example”, “Also”, and “Therefore”. This will make the flow easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key ideas. Do not move between “temporary job”, “work placement”, and “job” unless you explain the difference.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion direct. State your final view first, then give one short reason. Do not add a new planning idea at the end.
task response
You give both good and bad points about work placement, and you try to use a real work example.
task response
Your conclusion shows that you understand placement plans should fit each student and each job.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, a paragraph about good points, a paragraph about bad points, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “For example”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion”, to show the path of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • study abroad
  • work placement
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • academic knowledge
  • open-minded
  • independent
  • self-confidence
  • adapt to change
  • career chances
  • cultural understanding
  • language skills
  • financial cost
  • family responsibilities
  • compulsory
  • flexible choice
  • personal growth
  • hands-on learning
  • future employer
  • equal opportunity
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