IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Describe a historical era you are interested in When was this era How you learn about it What it was famous for Explain why you are interested in

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I
strongly
Verb problem
am strongly
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 interested in a historical period of time when the
dictorial
Replace the word
dictatorial
 government fell in my country, Chile,
It
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 took
a
Correct article usage
apply
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place around
early
Correct article usage
the early
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 80s, when the
election's
Check wording
election
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 results allow
president's
Wrong verb form
president to
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 change. There were
an intesting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 ages for three
principals
Replace the word
principal
 reasons,
Linking Words
firstly
Punctuation problem
firstly,
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 a enterely generacion of people
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 never
been below
Verb problem
experienced
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 a democratic community
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 for that, it was the first
one
Check wording
time
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 they experienced more freedom
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for example
Linking Words
, during dictatorshipe veryone must stay in after nine pm, it was every single day , but since now it no linger more,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and
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 individuals could
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
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 freedom.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. Say when the time was, how you learned about it, what it was known for, and why it matters to you. You say it was in the early 1980s, but you do not say how you learned about it.
task response
Give three main reasons only if you explain all three. At present, you start with “three reasons” but give only one reason: people had more freedom.
task response
Use clear and true time details. The change from the military rule to a new elected leader in Chile came later than the early 1980s. Check the date before you write.
task response
Add a short end part. Sum up why this time is important to you, such as because it shows how people can get freedom and take part in public life.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: first say the era and date; next say how you learned about it; then give one main idea in each part; finally give your reason for interest.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence clear. For example: “I am very interested in the time when military rule ended in Chile.” Then explain the next idea in a new sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a clear way: “First,” “For example,” “As a result,” and “In the end.” Do not use “for that” when you mean a result; use “because of this” or “as a result.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same time form. When you write about the past, use past forms: “People had to stay at home after 9 p.m.” Then use the present only for what is true now.
task response
You chose a clear and personal topic: the end of military rule in Chile. This gives your answer a real focus.
task response
You include a useful example about the rule that people had to stay at home after 9 p.m. This helps show why freedom was important.
coherence and cohesion
Your answer has a main idea: life changed because people had more freedom. The reader can understand this point.
coherence and cohesion
You try to order your ideas with “firstly” and “for example.” This is a good start for a clear answer.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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