Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The debate over how to reward
students
in educational institutions often centers around two primary perspectives: rewarding academic excellence versus rewarding improvement. Both approaches have their merits and can significantly impact
students
' motivation and learning experiences. On one hand, proponents of rewarding
students
with the best academic results argue that
such
recognition encourages competition and motivates
students
to strive for excellence.
This
approach can lead to high academic standards, as
students
are inspired to aim for the top tier of achievement. Schools that emphasize high achievers may foster an environment where academic
rigor
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rigour
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and success are prioritized, potentially preparing
students
for future challenges in higher education and professional settings.
Conversely
, those who advocate for rewarding improvements argue that growth should be the primary focus in education. Not all
students
start from the same place academically
,
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and focusing solely on results can overlook the hard work and progress made by
students
who may struggle
initially
. By recognizing improvement, schools can promote a more inclusive environment that values effort and perseverance.
This
can be especially beneficial for
students
who have faced challenges, as it encourages them to continue striving, knowing that their efforts are acknowledged. In my opinion, a balanced approach that combines both perspectives might be the most effective. Schools should reward high academic achievers to maintain high standards
while
also
recognizing improvements among all
students
. By creating a system that values both excellence and growth, educators can foster a more inclusive and motivating environment.
This
dual recognition not only celebrates those who excel but
also
uplifts those who strive to better themselves, ultimately contributing to a more holistic educational experience.
Submitted by luantrat on

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task achievement
To improve the task achievement aspect, consider including more specific examples or evidence that support each argument. Examples can make the discussion more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. For even better flow, try using more transitional phrases to guide readers smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses both perspectives of the topic and provides a well-reasoned personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
Excellent logical structure with clear introduction, supported main points, and a strong conclusion that summarizes and provides a balanced viewpoint.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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