IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

•It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is beer in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Introduction
There is no denying that living in the
city
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 offers several advantages
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such
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, such
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 as schools, hospitals, and shopping malls
compared
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, compared
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 with rural areas.
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while
Capitalize the word
While
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 some
people
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 prefer living in the countryside, others believe that
city
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life
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 is more beneficial.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before giving my own opinion.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, country
life
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 is the best option for those who
wnt
Correct your spelling
want
 to stay healthy. Because of its fresh environment.
Due to
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 less
traffics
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traffic
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,
air
Correct article usage
the air
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 is less polluted here.
People
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 can explore more green space. And cultivate fresh vegetables.
For example
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, in the villages of Bangladesh
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people
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, people
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 grow fresh vegetables in the field or their yard and enjoy
without
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them without
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 storing. Every morning
fishermen
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, fishermen
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catches
Correct subject-verb agreement
catch
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 fish from the pond and eat fresh fish.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, Cities offer more job opportunity which
contributes
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contribute
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 to economic growth.
Individual
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An individual
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 with financial goals prefers
city
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life
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 rather than living in a village. Numerous educational institutions can be found in the metropolitan cities.
For example
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, Ontario has the highest number of universities.
As a result
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, students who want to
persue
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pursue
 higher education tend to move
in
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to
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 the cities. Urban areas
also
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 offer a wide range of medical services. In India,
people
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 go to Chennai or Delhi for treatment.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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,
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apply
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 village communities provide
relaxing
Correct article usage
a relaxing
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 environment, metropolitan
life
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 offers several
convenience
Fix the agreement mistake
conveniences
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 and access to a wide range of services.
Overall
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, I believe that
city
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life
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 is the best choice
due to
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 the higher quality of
life
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 it offers.

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task response
Discuss both sides in a more even way. The city side has more points than the country side. Add one more clear point about country life, such as lower living costs or a calmer daily life.
task response
Make your own view clearer in the main part, not only at the end. Say why city life is better for you, and also say that this may not be true for all people.
task response
Explain examples more fully. For example, say how fresh food and clean air can help people stay well, or how city jobs can help a family.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each paragraph start with one full main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use very short parts such as “Because of its fresh environment.” and “And cultivate fresh vegetables.” Join them to the sentence before so the ideas flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. For example: “In the countryside, there is less traffic, so the air is cleaner.” This is clearer than using several short sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same words for the two places. Choose “cities” and “the countryside”, then use them through the essay. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss city life, country life, and give your own view.
task response
Your examples are linked to your ideas, such as fresh food in Bangladesh, universities in Ontario, and health care in India.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, one paragraph for each side, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts such as “To begin with”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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