IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagre?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Technological development plays a major role in our lives today. Nowadays, the general public is debating whether it has improved our living
or
Check wording
standards or
show examples
 not during the past few decades. In my opinion, I believe that
such
Linking Words
 development has been very beneficial for us and it has made our lives easier in several ways, including better ways of communication and a vast hub of knowledge.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost, the internet has introduced us to an instant communication system regardless of any location boundaries. International communication is the most used these days , and it has led to numerous developments through arranging cross-country trades
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 might not have been possible without in-person meetings.
For example
Linking Words
, a graphic designer in Canada can arrange a meeting with a company in America in just a few seconds and edit the required documents right away using the app called Google Docs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, governments can use
this
Linking Words
 system to send any emergency information to the public using the internet.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is an infinite amount of information lying around online which helps a number of people every day. The ability to access all
this
Linking Words
 data online without having to go through multiple books and libraries is a benefit in itself. It helps the learners save their precious time and improve their productivity.
For example
Linking Words
, it is very easy to learn some skills online , like coding or cooking , via the tutorial videos available free of cost. It makes it the best way to stay cost-efficient and access the required resources.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I highly agree with the point that claims that technology has made our lives easier in multiple ways throughout the years. It's clear that technology simplifies our daily tasks, connects us globally and helps us be more productive
while
Linking Words
 wasting no time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you answer the question well. To make it stronger, say more clearly that you agree to a large extent, not just that technology is helpful.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful: communication and learning. Add one short point about a possible bad side of technology, such as too much screen time or false news, then explain why the good sides are still greater.
task response
Some examples are clear, but make them more exact. For example, explain how online talks help a small business save travel time and money.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main paragraphs, and conclusion. Keep this plan in future writing.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “First and foremost” and “Moreover” work well. However, “On the other hand” usually shows an opposite idea, but your next paragraph gives another good point. Use “In addition” or “Furthermore” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and have many ideas. Split them into shorter sentences to make the meaning easier to follow. Also remove spaces before commas, for example: “these days, and” not “these days , and”.
task response
You give a direct opinion and keep the same view all the way through the essay.
task response
The examples of Google Docs and free online videos make your ideas easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear topic, and the conclusion brings your key ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
The opening sentence of each body paragraph helps the reader know what the paragraph will discuss.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: