IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

•It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is beer in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Introduction
It is unquestionable that choosing where to reside is indeed a crucial decision. Nowadays, it is a topic of discussion
in
Change preposition
among
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 the general public whether city
life
Use synonyms
 is better or living in the countryside is more sensible
instead
Linking Words
. In my opinion, I believe that the downtown
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offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
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 way more benefits as compared to rural areas,
whereas
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 some people would opt for the terrain
instead
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.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost, living in major metros offers a wide variety of opportunities and a great network of the education system. It is a fact that the major corporations around the world have their branches in big cities.
For example
Linking Words
, companies
such
Linking Words
 as Apple, Windows and Samsung are located in the urban areas , and they
offer
Use synonyms
 numerous highly paid jobs to job seekers in the employment sectors.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the students get to claim a great education from institutions like Oxford and Cambridge that are located in big cities , offering their
higher level
Correct your spelling
higher-level
 education from all around the world.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rural areas
offer
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 a great lifestyle for those who want to stay out of the busy
life
Use synonyms
 around the streets, it offers peace, privacy and lower living costs. The quiet surroundings in the countryside
offer
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 a
life
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 away from traffic noise and open nature, supporting healthy living without any industrial smoke.
For example
Linking Words
, you wake up to the birds chirping
instead
Linking Words
 of the buses
and
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, and
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cars
Check wording
cars'
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 sounds on the streets , and the first thing you see is the trees
instead
Linking Words
 of your neighbour's brick wall.
Thus
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, it's a great idea to choose
this
Linking Words
 over city lights.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that the major cities support a great lifestyle and
offer
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 a wide variety of options that are more future-oriented and help you build something.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 people who have different goals would disagree with
this
Linking Words
 thought, even though the countryside offers a peaceful
life
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, it does not support the futuristic ideas
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
thus
Linking Words
, I would choose city
life
Use synonyms
 over it.

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task response
You discuss both city and country life and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why jobs and study are more important to you than peace, clean air, and lower costs.
task response
Some ideas are too wide. For example, say how city schools, hospitals, transport, or work can help a person build a future. Also explain why country life may not suit young people or people who need work.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and true. Apple, Samsung, Oxford, and Cambridge do not all fit the point as written. A simple example about a person finding work near a city or saving money in a village would work better.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make each main part focus on one clear idea: city benefits in one part and country benefits in the next.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and join many ideas with commas. Split them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “First,” “Also,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help. Do not use “Thus” when the next sentence gives a new personal view rather than a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end match your view in the start. Say in one clear sentence that you choose city life because it gives more work and study choices, while also noting that the country is better for people who want a calm life.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and clearly say that you prefer city life.
task response
Your main ideas are useful and on topic: jobs and schools for cities, and peace, nature, and lower costs for the countryside.
coherence and cohesion
The order is easy to follow. The reader can see the introduction, the city side, the country side, and the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The example of birds, trees, buses, and cars makes the country-life paragraph easy to picture.
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