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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Some people believe that
children
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 should be taught by their parents how to become good members of society,
while
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 others argue that the best place to learn
this
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 is at
school
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. In my opinion, family background plays a crucial
role
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 in shaping
children
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, which can result in them becoming valuable citizens.
Body paragraph 1
Although
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 schools provide students with a standardised education, they
also
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 play a
role
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 in teaching
children
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 how to contribute to society.
However
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, lessons at
school
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 are inadequate for students to fully become good citizens because they generally spend less time at
school
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 than they do at home.
Therefore
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, their behaviour is more heavily influenced by their family environment and the situations they experience there.
Body paragraph 2
I strongly believe that family upbringing plays a more important
role
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 in raising
children
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 to become valuable members of society.
For example
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, parents are by their
children
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’s side from birth and can use
this
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 important period to teach them how to behave responsibly and contribute to their community. Young
children
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 often remember lessons that are repeatedly taught by their parents, particularly because they tend to imitate the behaviour of the people they grow up with.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 sending
children
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 to
school
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 can be seen as a proper way of teaching them how to become good citizens, I believe that family upbringing plays a more crucial
role
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 in determining who they will become in the future.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly what schools can teach, such as rules, group work, and care for other people.
task response
Your main idea about parents is clear, but add one more real example. For example, parents can teach children to help at home, be kind to neighbours, and follow rules.
task response
Some points are a little general. Show how time at home changes a child’s actions, not only that children spend more time there.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Each part stays on one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer link between the school view and your own view. For example: "While schools can teach these skills, parents have a greater daily effect."
coherence and cohesion
In the school paragraph, the word "However" makes the idea turn very fast. First explain the good side of school in more detail, then show why you think home has more effect.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you talk about parents, schools, and your own view.
task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same to the end.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is clear: school first, parents next, then a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as "For example", "Therefore", and "In conclusion" help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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