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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that fashion is a waste of money, while others think it plays an important role in society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In modern society, with the rising dominance of capitalism and consumerism on cultural values and personal goals, it is impossible to deny the role of
fashion
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 in
people
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's lives.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, a large number of
people
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, mainly consisting of environmentalists and anti-capitalists, believe that constantly purchasing clothes is not only financially unwise but
also
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 that retail businesses
overall
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 endanger the environment.
For instance
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, in recent years in Western and Northern Europe, sustainable and second-hand clothing options have gained popularity,
while
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 fast
fashion
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 has experienced a decline in sales. By choosing sustainable or thrifted clothing,
people
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 can reduce expenses
while
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also
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 benefiting the environment, among other advantages.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, many individuals, movements, and establishments advocate for the role of
fashion
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 in society. They argue that
fashion
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 is more than just a product. Take runway
fashion
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 as an example: in high
fashion
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 and haute couture, clothes are regarded as art, each conveying a deeper meaning. It is similar to a precious painting on a wall, but
instead
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 of a canvas, the model serves as the canvas, and the colors are fabrics and accessories.
Furthermore
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,
fashion
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 is connected to personal and social impressions. Research shows that
people
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 are more likely to trust someone in a tailored new suit rather than a person wearing an old or outdated suit in the corporate world. Even in personal life, many individuals express themselves through their
fashion
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 aesthetics.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, there are many controversial views regarding the worth and impact of
fashion
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. I personally believe that
fashion
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 is one of the keys to unlocking human creativity and individual uniqueness.
As a result
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, I agree that the impact of
fashion
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 in day-to-day life cannot be overlooked. Clothes should be appreciated as art, a social contract, an emotional outlet, and
overall
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, a way of life.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your view even stronger, say more clearly that fashion is good when people buy less and choose clothes that last.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but the first side is a little wider than the question. Focus more on why fashion itself can waste money, such as buying new clothes too often or buying clothes only because they are popular.
task response
The Europe example helps, but it is very general. Add one short, clear fact or a more direct example to show how fast fashion can cost people money or harm the earth.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-paragraph plan works well: opening, first view, second view, and ending. Keep this clear plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas can be smoother. For example, after the point about art, add a short link before moving to trust at work, such as: 'Fashion also has a more practical use.'
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph has many ideas in one sentence. Split it into two shorter sentences so your final view is easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple key words from the question again, such as 'waste of money' and 'important role', in the main paragraphs. This will make the link to the task even clearer.
task response
You answer all parts of the task: you explain why some people see fashion as a waste, why others value it, and what you think.
task response
Your own view is clear and stays the same from the opening to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main idea and includes an example or reason.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude' help the reader follow your essay.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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