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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is considered by some that diminishing the use of fossil fuel energy along with the continuous improvement of other alternative sources will be an excellent development to the community, while critics argue to this statement.

#fuel #energy #improvement #alternative #sources #development #community #critics
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These experiences of involvement in projects and industrial exposure were deeply insightful and in fact, were contributing factors to my growing enthusiasm for aircraft dynamics and flight performance field. Now, I am eager to delve deeper into
this
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 specialization, working to develop an application that can enhance the safe operation of UAVs through accurate trajectory planning and optimization.
Additionally
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, I am committed to promoting gender diversity in engineering. Even at my undergraduate level, through my positions in student bodies
such
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 as Business Manager at the Society of Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering Students (SOMAES) and Webmaster/ Social Media Manager at SEDS-Pulchowk, I have actively participated in motivating the younger generation into STEM, especially women. A
graduate
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 degree will not only enhance my technical expertise but
also
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 position me as a role model and advocate for women in engineering. For
graduate
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studies
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, I am particularly interested in developing algorithms for planning efficient and safe flight paths for UAS, considering factors
such
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 as terrain, weather, and foreign bodies in shared airspace.
Additionally
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, I am keen on exploring techniques for optimizing UAS flight paths in real-time, based on variable parameters and sensor data. My interests align closely with the
research
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 area offered by the Master's program at Ohio State University—Unmanned Aircraft Systems (UAS)—and the previous works of Dr. Clifford Whitfield, one of the leading professors at Ohio, making him an ideal faculty mentor for my
graduate
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studies
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. I would be highly honoured to pursue
graduate
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studies
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 under his guidance. Having built a strong foundational knowledge during my undergraduate
studies
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, I believe I will be able to explore more on my
research
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 skills with the highly regarded faculties and laboratories that your university offers. As evident from my transcript, I experienced significant academic growth during my final year, and I attribute it to great mentorship and collaboration with people having similar
research
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 interests. I am highly positive about finding a similar sanctuary under Dr. Whitfield’s
research
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 group at Ohio and believe that I would be a great fit for the program. Thank you for reviewing my application.
Submitted by swikritishrestha90 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a clear structure with an introduction that paraphrases the question, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs that logically flow from one to the next, using cohesive devices to link ideas and help the reader follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with relevant examples, ensuring the argument progresses logically through the essay and remains on topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring you respond directly to the question posed and elaborate fully on any argument you make.
task achievement
Express your ideas clearly and in detail, making use of a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to fully convey your argument and demonstrate language proficiency.
task achievement
Use specific examples that are clearly relevant to the argument and the task at hand, enhancing the strength and clarity of your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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