IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating and information. State which you consider to be the most effective - comics - Books - radio - television - film - theatre Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiance.

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Introduction
Nawadays
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Nowadays
, there are several media to express
opinion
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opinions
show examples
,
spred
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spread
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information
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or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 promote products. Companies and other institution shoul chose what they would use to
reash
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reach
 their
gould
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goals
about communication.
Although
Linking Words
 all different types of communication
resorces
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resources
 have pros and
coins
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cons
show examples
, I strongly believe that
books
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is
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are
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 far the best
way
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 to give
infirmation
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information
 and
cominicate
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communicate
 ideas because the
information
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 is
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserved
show examples
 for
long
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a long
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 time and its content
could
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can
show examples
 be
deepen
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deepened
show examples
 and studied .
Body paragraph 1
Firtly
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Firstly
,
books
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 have been for centuries the
mast
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most
show examples
 used
way
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 to
trasmit
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transmit
information
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 through generations and preserve knowledge of
the
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apply
show examples
humanity,
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due to
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because
show examples
 they can
organized
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be organised
show examples
 into
publics libreries
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public libraries
 or into houses.
Books
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 not only
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 be
free
Rephrase
freely
show examples
 available to
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, but
it
Correct word order
they can also
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also
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 can be published
like e-book, reaching easily
Correct word order
as e-books, reaching
show examples
 more readers
.
Rephrase
easily.
show examples
For example
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, the history of humanity
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been woven through
hundred
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hundreds
show examples
 of
books
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,
by
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apply
show examples
written and
illustred
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illustrated
 form
and
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, and
show examples
 the student
be able to
Verb problem
can
show examples
 consult them
all time that
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at any time
show examples
 they want.
As a result
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,
books
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 stored in libraries
, they
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apply
show examples
 have incalculable value.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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,
books
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 can
contein
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contain
 a large number of ideas
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they can deepen and
analize
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analyse
 any subject of the study.
For instance
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, bibliographies, studies, novels and other
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works
show examples
express
differents
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different
 views, feeling, experieces and
knowlodges
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knowledge
, giving
way
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 to the reader's imagination. It is only
though
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through
show examples
the
simbolism
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symbolism
of the letters.
Therefore
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,
books
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 will be interpreted
the differents
Replace the word
differently
way
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,
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the beliefs and experiences of the reader.
In contrast
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, comics, radio, films and TV are
medio
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media
 more superficial and
frecuently
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frequently
 they mark the trend of the moment,
eventhough
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even though
 they are necessary instant
information
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,
such
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 as news or instructions or for
enterteiment propous
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entertainment purposes
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
Despite
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despite
show examples
 there are so
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many ways
show examples
way
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 to
communicating
Wrong verb form
communicate
show examples
 and
spred
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spread
information
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 all of them have
advanjages
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advantages
 and
disadvantajes
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disadvantages
. I believe that
books
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 play
a
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an
show examples
 important role
to humanity
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apply
show examples
in
preserve
Replace the word
humanity
 in long- term and
deeped knowlodges
Correct your spelling
deep knowledge
.

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task response
You answer the main question and choose books clearly. But the task asks you to compare three kinds of media. You mainly write about books, then put comics, radio, film, and TV in one short sentence. Choose two other forms, such as radio and television, and give clear good and bad points for each one.
task response
Give a more direct answer about why books are the best. For example, books can give deep facts and can be kept for many years, but they may be slow to share new news. Then show why these good points are more important than the good points of radio and television.
task response
Your examples are linked to the topic, especially libraries and history books. Make them more clear and real. For example, say how a student can use a history book in a library, or how radio can warn people about bad weather fast.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. To make the whole essay easier to follow, use one body part for each media form, or one part for books and one part for the other two forms.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Words such as "Firstly", "Moreover", "However", and "In conclusion" can help, but make sure the next idea really contrasts or adds to the last one. The sentence about comics, radio, films, and TV is too broad and needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the subject clear in long sentences. For example, instead of "As a result, books stored in libraries, they have incalculable value", write "As a result, books in libraries are very valuable because many people can use them."
coherence and cohesion
Some word and grammar errors make the ideas harder to read. Check key words such as "nowadays", "spread", "reach", "goal", "information", and "knowledge". Also check singular and plural forms, such as "books are" and "media are".
task response
You state your view clearly: books are the best form for sharing ideas and facts.
task response
You give useful reasons for your choice, such as long-term use, deep study, and help for readers.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what your main view is, and the ending returns to that view.
coherence and cohesion
Your main body parts have clear main ideas: books keep knowledge, and books can hold deep ideas.
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