IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

If the product is good and meets consumer needs then advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
It is argued that high-quality and convenient
products
Use synonyms
 do not require promotion. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because most consumers learn about
products
Use synonyms
 through advertisements, and effective marketing can significantly increase sales.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost, commercials connect
products
Use synonyms
 with their target buyer. By promoting a product, companies can inform people about its existence and attract those who are most likely to be interested in it. In the past, purchasers mainly bought
products
Use synonyms
 they saw in shops,
while
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 newspaper advertising allowed businesses to reach a wider audience.
Furthermore
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, the fast pace of modern life and the mass production of goods make it difficult for consumers to keep up with new items on their own.
Therefore
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, organisations need to promote their goods through social media, billboards, and television.
For instance
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, makeup companies often hire beauty influencers to promote their
products
Use synonyms
 to people interested in cosmetics.
Body paragraph 2
Smart marketing is another reason why advertising remains important. By placing advertisements in people's daily activities and areas of interest, sellers can attract potential customers more effectively.
For example
Linking Words
, many businesses place their logos on football players' shirts or display commercials on screens in stadiums to promote their
products
Use synonyms
 to football fans.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, Advertising in metro stations and using eye-catching slogans can attract commuters' attention and encourage them to buy the product, ultimately increasing sales.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that advertising remains important even when a product is of high quality because it allows customers to learn about it without actively searching for it,
while
Linking Words
 effective marketing can attract more potential buyers.

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task response
Your main view is clear from the start, and you keep this view in the whole essay. To make the answer even stronger, explain more fully why a good product cannot sell well if people do not know it is there.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful: ads help people find a product, and good ads can bring more buyers. Add one short idea about word of mouth or repeat buyers, then show why these are still not enough for a new product.
task response
Your examples are on topic and easy to understand. Make each example more exact by saying what product is sold and how the ad leads a person to buy it.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, two main parts, and ending. Each main part has one clear idea. Keep this plan in future work.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are used well, such as “For instance” and “Therefore”. Do not use too many link words at the start of sentences. At times, use a short follow-up sentence instead.
coherence and cohesion
In the second main part, the football and metro examples are both about where ads are seen. You could join them more smoothly by saying that ads work best when they appear where people already spend time.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors that can slow the reader down: write “Moreover”, not “Morover”, and use lower-case “advertising” in the middle of a sentence.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear, strong view: advertising is still needed even for a good product.
task response
The beauty, football, and metro examples are relevant and help show how ads reach the right people.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening tells the reader what you will argue, and your ending clearly returns to the same main view.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are easy to follow, with a clear main idea in each one.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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