IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people nowadays travel abroad for their university education. Why do people do this? Would you consider doing this yourself and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Education
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 plays a vital role in everyone’s life
, in
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. In
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 today’s society
several
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, several
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people
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 plan to go to foreign countries for their university
education
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. In my opinion,
people
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 pursue
education
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in
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apply
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abroad because they may offer better courses, research facilities, and teaching quality. If I have to make a
choice
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choice,
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then
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 I would definitely choose overseas universities
and
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, and
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 I will give reasons in the essay to support my answer.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, studying abroad helps to gain qualifications that are internationally recognised and can improve
their
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one's
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 job prospects. Because
,
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apply
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 there are certain universities that are highly recommended
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while
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when
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 getting jobs like lawyers, doctors, engineers and so on.
For instance
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, a student interested in engineering or medical research may benefit from foreign degrees and strong links to industry.
Consequently
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, international
education
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 leaves a good mark on a student’s resume.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, studying with
people
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 from different countries gives students a wider view of the world and valuable international contacts. When we get a chance to study with
people
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 from various backgrounds, cultures and languages.
For example
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, living abroad makes a student independent. They mix with different
people
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 and enhance their personality.
Therefore
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, making themselves more adaptable and available for jobs.
Also
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, studying internationally helps students to learn to manage money, time, and daily responsibilities.
Conclusion
Overall
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, I would say higher
education
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 in foreign universities
do
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apply
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not only
help
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helps
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 to get an international degree but
also
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get them
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provides
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 a broader perspective in terms of
education
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 and knowledge.
Moreover
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, it builds
a
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apply
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confidence among students that pushes them to do jobs anywhere in the world.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question: why people study abroad and why you would do it. Your main ideas are clear: better study, better job chances, and personal growth. To make the answer stronger, explain each reason more fully. For example, say what kind of research tools, classes, or work links may be better in another country.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite general. Add one clear example from your own life or a real student. For example, you could say that a student chooses a country because its university has a strong medical lab or offers work after study.
task response
Be careful with very broad claims. Instead of saying foreign study always leaves a good mark on a resume, explain that it can help when the student gains useful skills, good grades, and work experience.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Each main part has one key idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not complete, and this breaks the flow. For example, “When we get a chance to study with people from various backgrounds, cultures and languages.” needs a main part. You could write: “When students study with people from various backgrounds, they learn to see problems in new ways.”
coherence and cohesion
Use link words in a more natural way. You use “First of all”, “Secondly”, “For instance”, and “Therefore” well, but make sure the next sentence clearly shows the result. For example, “They mix with different people and enhance their personality. Therefore, making themselves...” can become “They meet different people and grow more confident. Therefore, they become more able to work with others.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same subject in a paragraph. You move between “students”, “people”, and “we”. Choose “students” most of the time to make the ideas smoother.
task response
You clearly state your own view in the opening and return to it in the ending. This gives the essay a clear answer.
task response
The points about job chances, meeting people from other places, and learning to live alone are useful and fit the question well.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph plan is clear, with one paragraph about study and jobs and another about life skills and meeting people.
coherence and cohesion
The ending brings your main ideas together: an international degree, wider knowledge, confidence, and work chances.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • study abroad
  • overseas university
  • internationally recognised degree
  • academic reputation
  • specialised course
  • research facilities
  • teaching quality
  • career prospects
  • global job market
  • improve language skills
  • cultural exchange
  • broaden my horizons
  • become more independent
  • adapt to a new environment
  • international network
  • tuition fees
  • living expenses
  • financial support
  • apply for a scholarship
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