IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or films) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Artist
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Artists
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 should never be restricted by the government
,
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;
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art
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 is about expressing what you are feeling
the
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, the
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way
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 you like it. Not only the old
way
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like
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, like
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 books or magazines ,
Now days
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 new doors
opened
Verb problem
have opened
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 for
artists
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Body paragraph 1
Although
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i
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I
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 do respect the elder
art
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that is
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 painting
but
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, but
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 new ways
had
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have
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 definitely got more
intresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
, it even attracts the world much
affectively , Nowadays
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effectively. Nowadays,
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 even young
artists
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 can easily write a book online with the same price as actual books
,
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.
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 I completely disagree with the government. A world without
art
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 is a world without colour ,
that is
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 a phrase
i
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I
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 will always go by
Body paragraph 2
Artists
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 should never feel the pressure of
this
Linking Words
 decision , they wont feel as passinate as they were with films , music , series and etc , but if we are going to talk about old
art
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such
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 as : books , paintings , magazines or articles , elders wont see a difference with
this
Linking Words
 decision cause
art
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 has always been seen as paintings or pictures , and thats the
way
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 how elders knew
art
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Conclusion
In the end , I absolutely believe that
artists
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 should never be restricted by the government because that
way
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 it would feel
like
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apply
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more forced rather than
passion
Replace the word
passionate

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph. Your essay says that artists should not be restricted, but it does not fully explain why all limits should be removed.
task response
Answer the full question by discussing government limits. Explain if there are any rare cases where rules may be needed, such as harm to children or calls for violence. Then say why you still agree or disagree.
task response
Build each main point with a clear reason and an example. For example, free art can help people share new ideas; a film, song, or book can show a problem in society.
task response
Avoid ideas that do not directly answer the question. The part about old art and elders is not clearly linked to government control.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason, and conclusion. This will make your view easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Give each body paragraph one main idea. The first body paragraph mixes online books, old art, young artists, and government limits.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words to show the order of your ideas: First, For example, However, As a result, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between sentences clearer. Instead of moving from paintings to online books, explain how both show that artists need freedom.
coherence and cohesion
Use full, clear sentences and avoid very long sentences with many ideas. This will help the reader understand your meaning.
task response
Your main view is clear: you believe artists should have freedom from government control.
task response
You try to give reasons, such as art being linked to feeling and passion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an opening, body paragraphs, and a final paragraph that repeats your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph gives a clear ending and stays on the main topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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