IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050.

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The line graph shows changes in the population of China in three different
age
Use synonyms
 groups (0–14, 15–64, and 65+) from 1960 to 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, the three
age
Use synonyms
 groups followed different trends over the period.
While
Linking Words
 the percentage of people aged 65 and over increased, the other two
age
Use synonyms
 groups showed an
overall
Linking Words
 decrease. Looking first at the 65+
age
Use synonyms
 group, the figure was about 5% in 1960. It
then
Linking Words
 increased gradually and reached around 20% in 2050.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of people aged 15–64 started at about 38% and fell to approximately 17.5% by the end of the period. As for the 0–14
age
Use synonyms
 group, it began at around 45% in 1960. After some changes during the period, the figure decreased and reached about 20% in 2050.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population
  • age group
  • forecast
  • increase
  • rise
  • grow
  • fall
  • drop
  • decline
  • remain
  • stable
  • peak
  • reach a high point
  • the largest group
  • the smallest group
  • adult
  • children
  • older people
  • people aged 65 and over
  • people aged 15 to 64
  • people aged 0 to 14
  • over time
  • at the start
  • at the end
  • by 2050
  • from 1960 to 2050
  • is expected to
  • is projected to
  • a sharp rise
  • a steady fall
  • gradually
  • significantly
  • compared with
  • in contrast
  • while
  • overall
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