IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to enquire
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
about my
well being
Correct your spelling
well-being
 in my
room
Use synonyms
. Unfortunately, I am disappointed with the arrangement of my
room
Use synonyms
 sharing, to be exact
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 my partner
whom
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with whom
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 I am sharing my
room
Use synonyms
. I
can’t
Use synonyms
 work or study in my dorm
room
Use synonyms
 because my
and my colleague
Correct word order
colleague and I
show examples
 are not getting along.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I
can’t
Use synonyms
 even relax
while
Linking Words
 we are in the same space
of
Change preposition
, given
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 how different our perspectives are.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the problems started when we could not decide on the rules that we would have in our space. Personally, I
can’t
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 learn with music, or why I
can’t
Use synonyms
 relax with some of her friends over.For
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
,
while
Linking Words
 somebody is dancing and singing is hard to focus on homework or different
assigments
Correct your spelling
assignments
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is extremely hard to work on my projects when I don’t feel comfortable with the things surrounding me, or with my roommate not considering my personal space and needs.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 I try my best
understanding
Wrong verb form
to understand
show examples
 her rules, but I cannot concentrate on my studies like I used to. I would really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could help me solve
this
Linking Words
 situation. I would
prefere
Correct your spelling
prefer
 if you
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 help me change my roommate or allow me to change my student accommodation to another residence
room
Use synonyms
 with another colleague. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could keep
this
Linking Words
 private
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I don’t want to have more disagreements with my roommate
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 I would like to keep it simple and
conflict free
Correct your spelling
conflict-free
. You can contact me
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
 email or come straight to our
room
Use synonyms
 in
bloc
Use the right word
block
show examples
 C
door
Punctuation problem
, door
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 302. I would really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 help me with
his
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 situation. Yours faithfully, Maria Smith

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task response
Give a clear main reason for the move. Say if you want a new room, a new person to share with, or a room by yourself.
task response
Use more clear details about the noise, the guests, and the lack of space. This will help the officer see why you cannot study.
coherence and cohesion
Put each main point in its own paragraph: the room problem, how it affects study, and your request.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “Therefore”. Check that each one fits the next sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same request many times. Ask for help once near the end, then give your contact details.
coherence and cohesion
Use full, clear sentences. For example, write “I find it hard to focus when she plays music or has friends in the room.”
task response
You explain the shared-room problem, how it affects your study, and the kind of change you want.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear opening, body paragraphs, a polite request, contact details, and a suitable closing.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful link words, such as “Firstly”, “Moreover”, and “Therefore”.
Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation officer
  • roommate
  • share a room
  • living arrangement
  • difficult to work
  • noise levels
  • study environment
  • privacy concerns
  • alternative accommodation
  • single room
  • academic performance
  • well-being
  • respectfully request
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