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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Electric cars will fully replace petrol and diesel-fuelled cars in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
In contemporary society, innovation is taking
care
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place
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 in all sectors.
Tit
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It
 is being said that
,
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apply
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here
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there
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 will be a day when electric
vehicles
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 will completely take over the fueled
cars
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 soon. I partially disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as the era is revolutionizing but electric
cars
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 cannot eliminate
the
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apply
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conventional
cars
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. I will present my views on both
the
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apply
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parts in
upcoming
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the upcoming
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 essay.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost,
reason
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the reason
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 is
,
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apply
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 reducing air pollution. Since
,
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apply
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 petrol and diesel
cars
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exhaust
Verb problem
produce exhaust
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 emissions, which
deteriorates
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deteriorate
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 the air quality and
creates
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create
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 air pollution.
For example
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, during traffic
jams
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jams,
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 the
vehicles
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 keep on running
and
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, and
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 they emit carbon gases, which results in pollution.
Moreover
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, it requires fossil fuels and renewable energy to produce the fuel
which
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, which
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 costs a lot and affects our natural resources.
Therefore
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, electric
cars
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 seem to be a positive launch.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
zero emission
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zero-emission
vehicles
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 do have some limitations
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such
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, such
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 as limited infrastructure access in rural areas. For the electric
vehicles
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, a proper power foundation is required
which
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, which
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 can take some time in the rural areas, because of which a complete replacement seems impractical.
For instance
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, Tesla needs charging points and people need to charge their
cars
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 at certain time periods
especially
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, especially
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travelling
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when travelling
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 long distances.
Therefore
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, a proper framework is required everywhere to keep the
cars
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 running smoothly
which
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, which
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 is why
government
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the government
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 must take
initiative
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the initiative
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 to implement the change.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, I would say electric
cars
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 do assist in preserving the environment
,
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apply
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 and
modernizing
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modernising
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 the world
but
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apply
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,
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on
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but on
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 the other hand, we must keep
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this
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apply
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in
our minds
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mind
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 that a complete replacement may take a long time, especially in rural areas
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 terms of the setup.

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task response
Your view is clear: you partly disagree. However, explain more clearly why electric cars will not fully replace fuel cars. Add one more main reason, such as high cost, battery life, or the need for fuel cars in some jobs.
task response
Develop each main point further. In the first body paragraph, explain how electric cars can lower air pollution. In the second, explain why poor charging access can stop full change, not only slow it down.
task response
Some ideas are not fully correct or clear. Fuel is mainly made from fossil fuels, not renewable energy. Also, say that electric cars have no exhaust gases, but power use may still cause pollution in some places.
task response
Use examples that directly support your point. The Tesla example is useful, but make it more exact: long trips may need many charging stops where charging points are rare.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. Keep this simple four-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each body paragraph more direct. For example: “Electric cars can reduce air pollution.” Then give reasons and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Do not start many sentences with “Since,” “Moreover,” or “Therefore.” Use simple links such as “This is because,” “For example,” “However,” and “As a result.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear words and sentences, such as “innovation is taking care in all sectors” and “a proper power foundation.” Use clear words: “technology is improving in many areas” and “a strong charging system.”
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, restate your view in one clear sentence. Say that electric cars will become more common, but full replacement is unlikely in the near future because charging systems are not ready everywhere.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give a clear partly disagree view.
task response
Your points about air pollution and charging access are relevant to the question.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs, and each body paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful links such as “For example,” “Moreover,” and “On the other hand.”
Topic Vocabulary:
  • electric vehicles
  • petrol and diesel cars
  • exhaust emissions
  • air pollution
  • battery technology
  • driving range
  • charging infrastructure
  • public charging stations
  • renewable energy
  • tax incentives
  • fossil fuels
  • long-distance travel
  • heavy-duty vehicles
  • upfront cost
  • cleaner transport system
  • gradual transition
  • power grid
  • carbon footprint
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