IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays it is very popular to be technology/internet literate. Some people say that these skills will replace the use of books as main source of information and entertainment. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Will technology
did
Wrong verb form
apply
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replace everything : jobs , studying
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 even school , so 'online'
books
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 already replaced by apps , and even a new electronic named '
kindle
Capitalize the proper name
Kindle
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'. Kindle is a new electronic
that
Check wording
device that
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 looks exactly like an
IPad
Capitalize the proper name
iPad
show examples
Body paragraph 1
Will i
Wrong verb form
I
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 think that
books
Use synonyms
 being replaced isn't a new topic for me , and
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 definitely think that
books
Use synonyms
stoped
Correct your spelling
stopped
 being a sort of entertainment since IPhones and electronics came out. Now
books
Use synonyms
 are only being used for studying , and not all students actually use actual
books
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they can just buy
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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 online
just
Punctuation problem
, just
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 like a real book.
Body paragraph 2
Aswell
Correct your spelling
As well
 as a sort of information , people definitely stopped running to
books
Use synonyms
 to know
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new information when they can just search it up on
google
Capitalize the proper name
Google
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 or
chatgpt
Capitalize the proper name
ChatGPT
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. It saves time and
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
. And as
tecnonlgy
Correct your spelling
technologically
 literate people already do
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
 as well , not everyone likes to go to in-person school and
socialize
Change the spelling
socialise
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 and make friends when they can do it at home
Conclusion
In the end i think people
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to stop worrying about technology taking over the world when it already did , technology took over
literate
Replace the word
literacy
, hobbies , jobs , entertainment and information. Nobody would run to
books
Use synonyms
 for entertainment
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 You can do everything at home.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first lines. Say if you agree fully or partly that online tools will replace books.
task response
Answer both parts of the topic: books as a source of information and books as entertainment. Your ideas on both are there, but they need more detail.
task response
Do not make very wide claims such as “nobody would run to books.” Some people still read paper books, so use words like “many” or “some.”
task response
Give one clear example for each main point. For example, explain how Google helps people find facts fast, and how a Kindle lets people carry many books.
task response
Your point about home school does not directly answer the question about books. Remove it or link it clearly to online study books.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: first paragraph for your view, one paragraph about information, one about entertainment, and a last paragraph to sum up.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one main idea. Then add an example and explain why it supports your view.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show the path of your ideas: “First,” “Also,” “For example,” “However,” and “In the end.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “technology took over” and “books are replaced.” Say the idea once, then add new support.
coherence and cohesion
Make your last paragraph shorter and closer to your main view. It should sum up the two points about information and entertainment.
task response
You give a clear view that online tools are now more common than paper books.
task response
You use useful examples, such as Google, ChatGPT, online books, and Kindle.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraph breaks, and the last paragraph shows that you are ending your answer.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow: entertainment first, then information, then a final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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