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Band 6.5

The charts below show the aversage percentages intypical meals of three types of nutrients, all of whihc may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

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The charts below show the aversage percentages intypical meals of three types of nutrients, all of whihc may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The pie charts above illustrate the medium percentages of healthiness in four meals of different types of
nutrients
Use synonyms
,
Sodium
Use synonyms
, Saturated fat, and added
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
dinner
Use synonyms
 had the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of both
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat,
while
Linking Words
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
 was less in the first two
nutrients
Use synonyms
it
Punctuation problem
; it
show examples
 showed a huge availability
percentage
Use synonyms
 in snacks.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
lunch
Use synonyms
 maintained a compatible average
percentage
Use synonyms
 with
dinner
Use synonyms
 in the
whole
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
three
nutrients
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, breakfast had the least
amount
Use synonyms
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fats, and added glucose.
Sodium
Use synonyms
 was 43% in
dinner
Use synonyms
 meals,
while
Linking Words
 it was less available in
lunch
Use synonyms
 with 29%.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
 in snacks and breakfast was equal by 14% each. Next is saturated fat,
although
Linking Words
 it was 26% in
lunch
Use synonyms
, the pie chart illustrated a lower
amount
Use synonyms
 in
dinner
Use synonyms
 by 6% and a higher figure in both snacks with 21% and
lunch
Use synonyms
 reaching 16%.
However
Linking Words
, added
sugar
Use synonyms
 was much apply different tfrom the rest, with a higher average
percentage
Use synonyms
 in snack hitting 42%.
While
Linking Words
 the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
dinner
Use synonyms
 and
lunch
Use synonyms
 was less than both other
nutrients
Use synonyms
, it remained the same figure as saturated fat, with 16%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nutrients, sodium, sugar, dinner, amount, percentage, lunch with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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