IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting ones is very important for people? Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a postivie or negative situation?

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Introduction
In some countries, buying or owning a
home
Use synonyms
 rather than renting it is very important for some
people
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
I believe that owning a
home
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 can be financially sound in some cases,
such
Linking Words
 as individuals who are close to retirement and not physically capable of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some individuals want to own a property because they want their children to inherit it
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for example
Linking Words
, a family
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 owns their
home
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 can pass it to their children, who
then
Linking Words
 have somewhere to live without paying
rent
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, owners have security. A landlord can raise the
rent
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 or ask the tenant to leave, but nobody can force an owner out of their
home
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some neighbours can be noisy and sometimes a landlord cannot fix that
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 they do not care as long as the tenants pay their
rent
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. Owners can
also
Linking Words
rent
Use synonyms
 the property out and earn a steady income from it.
Body paragraph 3
However
Linking Words
, renting can be financially safer,
for example
Linking Words
, some
people
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 travel frequently, so paying a mortgage on a
home
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 they rarely occupy makes little sense and owning
also
Linking Words
 requires a significant amount of financial resources. Some
people
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 who are unemployed or studying are not financially capable of renting or owning a
home
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so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 they choose to stay at their
parent's
Check wording
parents'
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 house until they have a stable job.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 renting suits
people
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 who move frequently or lack
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 income, I believe owning a
home
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 is a positive development, as it provides security and something to pass on to the next generation.

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task response
Answer the first question more directly. The essay gives many reasons, but it does not clearly say why home ownership is very important in some countries. Add ideas such as family values, high rent, or the wish to have a safe home for life.
task response
Make your main view clear from the start. The opening says ownership can be good only in some cases, but the end says it is a positive change. Use one clear view all through the essay.
task response
Explain each reason a little more. For example, after saying that parents want to pass a home to their children, say why this matters: it can give the family safety and lower costs in the future.
task response
The part about renting is useful, but the point about people who cannot rent or buy is not fully linked to the question. Focus more on why people choose to own, and on whether this trend is good or bad.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Keep this shape, but make the first body part about reasons for owning and the second body part about your view of the result.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “One reason is…”, “Another reason is…”, “This can be positive because…”, and “On the other hand…”. This will help the reader follow your line of thought.
coherence and cohesion
Some points in the first body part are put together very quickly: children, safety, noisy neighbours, and rent income. Give each main point its own short explanation, or use fewer points and explain them better.
coherence and cohesion
Check that examples match the point before them. The example about noisy neighbours does not strongly show why owning is important, because owners may also have noisy neighbours.
task response
You discuss both owning and renting, and you give a clear final view that owning can bring safety and help future family members.
task response
Your examples are easy to understand, especially the idea of parents passing a home to their children and people who travel often.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well organised with an opening, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To begin with”, “Additionally”, “However”, and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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