IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Students should pay their full university fees as they benefit from having university studies and not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that
university
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students
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 should pay the full cost of their
education
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 because they are the main beneficiaries, rather than society as a whole.
While
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 I agree that
students
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 should contribute towards their
university
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 fees, I believe that the
government
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 should
also
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 provide financial support, particularly for
students
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 from disadvantaged
families
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, requiring
students
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 who can afford
university
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education
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 to pay their own fees can allow
governments
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 to allocate their limited financial resources to other important areas. Running universities requires considerable expenditure on facilities, teaching staff, technology and other educational resources. If financially capable
students
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 cover these costs themselves, the
government
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 can use the money saved to improve essential public services
such
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 as healthcare, transport and infrastructure.
This
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 can benefit a much larger proportion of the population.
For example
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,
instead
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 of fully subsidising
university
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 places for
students
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 from wealthy
families
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, a
government
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 could use part of
this
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 funding to improve public hospitals and transport facilities.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, I believe that
governments
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 should continue to support
students
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 from low-income
families
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.
Although
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 these
students
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 may have the ability to succeed academically, they may not have enough money to pay for
university
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education
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. If they are required to pay the full fees, many talented individuals may be forced to abandon higher
education
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.
Therefore
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, providing free or subsidised
university
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education
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 to disadvantaged
students
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 can give them equal opportunities to obtain professional qualifications.
For instance
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, a talented student from a poor family could receive
government
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 assistance to attend
university
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 and later become a teacher, doctor or engineer, thereby contributing to society.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I agree that
students
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 who are financially capable should contribute to the cost of their
university
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education
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, as
this
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 can enable
governments
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 to spend more on other essential sectors.
However
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,
university
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education
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 should not become inaccessible to
students
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 from poor
families
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, and
governments
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 should continue to provide them with appropriate financial assistance

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task response
Your view is clear: students who can pay should pay, but poor students should get help. To make it even stronger, say more clearly that you partly agree with the idea in the question, because society also gains from well-trained workers.
task response
Your main ideas are well explained. You could add one more point about how graduates, such as doctors and teachers, help all people, not only themselves.
task response
The examples fit your points, but they are quite general. Add a small, clear real-world detail to make one example more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a clear end. Each paragraph has one main idea, which makes it easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas work well. You can make the flow even smoother by using a wider mix of simple links, such as "also", "as a result", and "in this way", where they fit.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph clearly sums up your view. It could be a little stronger if it also restated why public help is good for society as a whole.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and keep the same clear view from the first paragraph to the end.
task response
The point about help for students from poor families is clear, fair, and well supported.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is very easy to follow: fees for those who can pay, help for those who cannot, then a short final view.
coherence and cohesion
Topic sentences such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" help the reader understand the purpose of each paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tuition fees
  • higher education
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • financial burden
  • scholarships
  • education subsidies
  • equity
  • debt burden
  • income-contingent loans
  • accessibility
  • long-term financial stability
  • academic performance
  • educational accessibility
  • socio-economic status
  • personal responsibility
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