IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say government should give health care the first priorities, some others believe education is more important priorities to spend the taxpayers' money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
The issue of whether
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
 should give
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
the
Correct word choice
or education the
show examples
first
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
 or the
education
Use synonyms
 to spend the taxpayers` money has sparked considerable debate in recent years.Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should give
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 the
first
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is more important .
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both perspectives before offering my own opinion.
Although
Linking Words
 both arguments have their merits,I firmly believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 is essential.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand,those who advocate for giving
health
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care
Use synonyms
 the
first
Use synonyms
piorities
Check wording
priority
show examples
 argue that it is important because it affect on the habitat.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the government do not
by
Verb problem
pay
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 attention to sick
people
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 ,it might
die
Verb problem
kill
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 millions of
people
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.
In addition
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,many deadly diseases have become more widespread in recent years.
Such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Covid-19,which
many
Correct word order
has affected many people
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have affected until now.
For example
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,my grandmother got
Covid-19
Capitalize the proper name
COVID-19
show examples
,and it affected her breathing .
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,many who hold the belief that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is more important
priorities
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 to spend the taxpayers` money emphasise that it is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to
imptove
Correct your spelling
improve
 their knowledge and to secure their future .
Furthermore
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,
this
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 can contribute to the country`s development.
For example
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,if the country provides its
citizen
Check wording
citizens
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 with financial support,it can boost the country`s economy.
In addition
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can study in another
,
Check wording
country,which
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which
Correct pronoun usage
where
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 foreign
people
Use synonyms
 learn more about our culture.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides ,I firmly believe that the governments should
should
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
give
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 the
first
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Use synonyms
priorities
Check wording
priority
show examples
.The reasons outlined above clearly demonstrate that it is more important than
education
Use synonyms
 .

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task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. Make your view more clear: say why health care should come first, even if schools also need money.
task response
Explain each main idea more fully. For health care, show how public health care can save lives and help poor people. For education, show how good schools can help people get work and help the country.
task response
Use examples that directly prove your point. The Covid-19 example is useful, but explain how more public money for hospitals, doctors, or shots would help.
task response
Avoid ideas that are not clear or do not fit the point. For example, 'people can study in another' needs a clear meaning and a link to public spending on education.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it before moving to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words in a natural way: 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'Therefore'. Do not use 'For instance' and 'For example' very close together.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between sentences clearer. For example, after saying that disease is common, explain why this means health care should get more tax money.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same words too much, such as 'first priorities' and 'more important priorities'. Use simple clear forms like 'the top priority' or 'more important'.
coherence and cohesion
Check basic sentence form so your ideas are easy to follow. Write 'the government should pay attention to sick people' and 'millions of people might die'.
task response
You discuss health care and education, and you clearly state that health care is your main choice.
task response
You use a real health example about Covid-19, which makes the health care point easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will do, and the conclusion gives your final view.
coherence and cohesion
The use of 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' helps the reader see the two different views.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal healthcare
  • Preventative measures
  • Productivity
  • Innovation
  • Economic prosperity
  • Alleviate
  • Resource allocation
  • Public-private partnerships
  • Informed electorate
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Primary education
  • Higher education
  • Life expectancy
  • Civic engagement
  • Sustainable development
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