Students should be allowed to choose academic courses or practical courses, e.g carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In
this
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advanced generation, young adults should be provided an option to choose what they want to study, whether it's an academic course or learning a practical skill. In the essay below, I will provide some reasons why it should be allowed and how it will help students and our society.
Body paragraph 1
Academic
courses
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are the
courses
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that are usually offered by universities in various fields and departments. They provide a list of subjects and a curriculum that the student must follow
and
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, and
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should clear all subjects in order to get a degree.
On the other hand
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, most of the institutes and colleges do not offer practical
courses
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, e.g., carpenters, mechanics, electricians , plumbers and others. These
skills
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are usually considered odd, and people who do
such
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jobs are mostly from the lower class. If we think more open-mindedly, these
skills
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are lifesavers and people, whether they want to continue it or not , as a profession should learn it.
Additionally
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, Summer time during vacations is the best time in my opinion to learn some hard
skills
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, as it will not affect studies. It will
also
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help students decide more clearly what path they want to follow in future.
Body paragraph 2
There is another side as well , in our society, if someone goes for a higher education , they would want to learn something that will help them land a
full-time
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full-time,
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proper job. The question is , who will opt for these practical
courses
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? Higher authorities should offer
small
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a small
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program for 1-2 months for these practical
skills
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, as it will help the youth to have the talent that will save them so much money in the long run.
Furthermore
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,
this
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way
students
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, students
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can implement and use them as a side hustle or a part-time job.
For example
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, a financially struggling student , who is currently studying a course in Artificial Intelligence,
also
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learns more about fixing vehicles.
This
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is why he cannot only fix smaller issues in his car or bike, but can
also
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work part-time as a mechanic at a petrol pump to save some dollars.
Conclusion
To summarise, I fully agree with the statement and the universities should at least offer practical
courses
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, and in each program, at least one practical course should be mandatory for a student to learn.
This
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way, individuals could learn a variety of
skills
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, academic
as well as
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the real necessary ones.

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task response
State your view more directly in the first paragraph. Say that you fully agree because all students should have a real choice between academic study and practical training.
task response
Develop each main idea further. Explain why practical skills matter for jobs, daily life, and the needs of society. Then explain why some students may still choose academic study.
task response
Be careful with ideas that do not fully support free choice. Your last line says one practical course should be required. This does not fully match the idea that students should be allowed to choose.
task response
Use the example in a clearer way. Explain how learning vehicle repair helps the student earn money, but avoid adding too many details that are not needed.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Make the link between the two body paragraphs clearer. The second paragraph should begin with a sentence that shows it gives another reason for your view.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, you move from what academic courses are, to social class, to summer breaks, and to career choice. Split or connect these ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words in a natural way, such as 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'As a result'. Do not place a linking word where the next sentence does not add a closely related point.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter. Long sentences with many ideas can make your meaning less clear. For example, give one reason, explain it, and then give an example.
task response
You give a clear overall view that students should have access to practical learning as well as academic study.
task response
Your example of a student who studies AI and learns vehicle repair is useful and related to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening and a short ending, and the ending returns to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful links between ideas, such as 'On the other hand', 'Additionally', and 'For example'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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