IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently stayed with a childhood friend for a few days. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: Thank your friend for letting you stay with them. refer to something enjoyable that you did while staying with him/her invite your friend to visit you

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Dear Tina, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to thank you for the wonderful time I spent with you during my recent stay at your place. I really enjoyed staying with you for three days and celebrating your birthday. It was a memorable experience for me, and I will cherish it for a lifetime. During my stay, I got the opportunity to explore Vancouver and its surrounding areas. One of the highlights was our trip to Whistler, where we went hiking and enjoyed several exciting rides. The area had beautiful lakes and breathtaking scenery, and spending time there was a great way to relax and refresh my mind. I
also
Linking Words
 remember the exciting ride that made us feel as though we were flying over Chicago. I cannot remember the name of the activity, but it was certainly thrilling and enjoyable. By the way, my birthday is coming up in October, and I would love to invite you to celebrate it with me. I am sure we will have a fantastic time together. We can visit some exciting places near Toronto,
such
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 as Niagara Falls, the aquarium and Blue Mountain. I hope you will be able to come. I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Yours lovingly, Sam

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task response
You answer all parts of the task. To make the letter feel more close and real, add one or two small personal details about Tina or her birthday.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a clear order: thanks, time together, and the invite. The second paragraph is a little long, so you could split it into two parts: one about Vancouver and one about Whistler.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words such as “Also”, “After that”, and “For this reason” to make the story move more smoothly.
task response
You clearly thank Tina, talk about fun things you did together, and invite her to your birthday.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. The greeting and closing are warm and right for a close friend.
coherence and cohesion
The details about Whistler, the lakes, and the ride help the reader picture your time together.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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