IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It could be argued that technology makes our lives easier and simpler. But there are certainly people who feel life has become more complicated due to modern inventions. Which opinion do you agree with? In your essay, include supporting details.

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Introduction
It is possible to
be argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that our
lives
Use synonyms
 are getting easier and simpler
due to
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, several individuals
states
Correct subject-verb agreement
state
show examples
 that modern inventions
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
show examples
 to a more complicated life. I firmly agree with the view that
technology
Use synonyms
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 assistance
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our
lives
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Human
lives
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 become simpler and lighter
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the assistance of contemporary
technologies
Use synonyms
. Not only does it support many people in productivity, but it
also
Linking Words
 furthers the approach
on
Change preposition
to
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 leisure.
Variety
Correct article usage
A variety
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 of newer gadgets has
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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 multifunctional applications for different reasons.
For instance
Linking Words
, modern computers and smartphones are included with artificial intelligence to expand the capability of assisting individuals.
In addition
Linking Words
,
technologies
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 in improving entertainment and pleasure
activity
Check wording
activities
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;
Punctuation problem
,
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such
Linking Words
 as various types of games, online streaming websites, and social media applications.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
technologies
Use synonyms
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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 solely on gadgets, but
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
also
Linking Words
 produce beneficial effects for environments and lifestyles. Sustainability has been approached by providing modern and eco-friendly facilities. Offering modern and sustainable facilities
also
Linking Words
 affects personal habits by fostering their self-awareness through reliable and sophisticated tech. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
technologies
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as electric vehicles and automatic sorting bin has been offered to enhance our
capabilty
Correct your spelling
capability
 to preserve our surroundings.
As a result
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 has helped humans
simplifying
Wrong verb form
simplify
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 tasks and provide entertainment for pleasure.
Conclusion
In
conclussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is necessary to develop
technology
Use synonyms
, since it contributes to our
lives
Use synonyms
 by making things easier.

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task response
Your main view is clear: you agree that technology makes life easier. However, explain more clearly why this view is stronger than the other view. Add one short point about how technology can make life hard, such as too much phone use or worry about privacy, then show why its good points are greater.
task response
Develop each main idea further. In the first body part, explain how AI in phones or computers saves time in work, study, or daily tasks. In the second body part, explain how electric cars or sorting bins help people live in a cleaner way.
task response
Your examples are on topic, especially computers, smartphones, electric cars, and sorting bins. Make them more real and clear. For example, say that an AI tool can help a student find ideas faster, or that an electric car can cut air pollution in a city.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. Keep this order, but make the first sentence of each body part state one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. For example, the move from gadgets to the environment feels sudden. Use simple linking words such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, and “Therefore” to show how each idea follows the last one.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating broad words such as “technology”, “modern”, and “help” too often. Use clear words like “digital tools”, “machines”, “online services”, “save time”, and “make tasks easier” when they fit.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main point. The first body part can focus on work and free time. The second can focus only on the environment and daily habits. This will make the essay easier to follow.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same view from the introduction to the conclusion.
task response
You use relevant examples of modern tools and green inventions to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a full essay shape, with an opening, body parts, and a closing.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as “However”, “For instance”, “In addition”, “Furthermore”, and “As a result”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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