In some area of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

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Introduction
In various regions of the United States, teenagers are prohibited from leaving their accommodations during late
hours
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alone, unless they are accompanied by an elder. I firmly stand with
this
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regulation, and I will elaborate on my views in
this
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essay.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with, it is a well-known fact that
,
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streets are unsafe for adolescent-aged kids during midnight
hours
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, as a person at
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age is not fully aware of the dangers that lie ahead. The supervision from an adult can be a good measure for avoiding unwanted circumstances.
For instance
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, an adult can be a shield
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;
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if a teenager runs into bad company,
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protection comes through the life experience, which they have from the incidents they have faced in past. It is good for a young fella to have a mature person as a guide during
this
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period.
Body paragraph 2
Adding more,
this
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is the period of a day, when young people feel lonely, a warm company by a senior can give them emotional support.
Moreover
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, when they are returning to their homes from work, an adult can be helpful to make
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journey safe. During late-night
hours
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,
If
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if
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they are prohibited from leaving the house alone,
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help
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helps
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parents to spend some time with their children.
Therefore
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, it contributes to
the
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a
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stronger bond in the family. Even elders can assist them in their studies during
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time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the curfew imposed on teenagers during night
hours
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,
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is
right
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the right
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decision taken by the authorities in the U.S, but these regulations should not be so strict
,
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that they would start thinking about their loss of freedom of movement.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree with the rule. Keep this clear view from the first line to the end.
task response
Give more detail about why a night rule can keep young people safe. For example, explain how fewer young people alone at night may mean fewer risks from crime, cars, or bad groups.
task response
Some points do not fit the main idea well. Study help and family time are not the main reasons for a curfew. Use space for stronger points about safety, care, and freedom.
task response
Add one short point about the other side. Say that some teens may need to go out for work or an emergency, so the rule should allow these cases.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler links between ideas. Instead of "Adding more," use "Another reason is" or "Also."
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. The first part can focus only on safety. The second can focus only on the need for a fair rule and adult care.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences join too many ideas. Break them into two short sentences so the meaning is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last part match your main view more closely. State that the rule is good for safety, but it should have fair exceptions.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion in the first part.
task response
You use an example of an adult helping a teen avoid bad company. This supports your safety point.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are set out in a logical order: opinion, reasons, and final view.
coherence and cohesion
The final part gives a balanced note by saying the rule should not take away too much freedom.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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