IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Schools and workplaces should allow people to make mistakes without serious consequences because failure is an important part of learning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
It is often argued that schools and workplaces should allow
people
Use synonyms
 to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
 without serious consequences because
failure
Use synonyms
 is an important part of learning.
However
Linking Words
, I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
 because
failure
Use synonyms
 encourages learning and develops problem-solving skills.
Body paragraph 1
The primary reason why I agree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
 is that
failure
Use synonyms
 encourages learning.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because
mistakes
Use synonyms
 show
people
Use synonyms
 what they need to improve.
In other words
Linking Words
, experiencing an unsuccessful result can help individuals understand their weaknesses and avoid repeating the same
mistakes
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a student may make several errors
while
Linking Words
 completing a practical project and
then
Linking Words
 analyse those
mistakes
Use synonyms
 before attempting it again.
As a result
Linking Words
, the student can develop a better understanding of the subject.
Therefore
Linking Words
, allowing reasonable
mistakes
Use synonyms
 can create a more effective learning environment.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another important reason why I agree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
 is that
failure
Use synonyms
 develops problem-solving skills.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 need to analyse unsuccessful attempts and find better solutions.
For instance
Linking Words
, an employee whose first approach to a workplace problem does not work can examine the situation and try a different method.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the individual becomes better prepared to deal with similar challenges in the future.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 does not mean that serious negligence should have no consequences; rather, reasonable
mistakes
Use synonyms
 should be treated as opportunities to learn.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I firmly agree with the
view
Use synonyms
 that schools and workplaces should allow
people
Use synonyms
 to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
 without serious consequences.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because
failure
Use synonyms
 encourages learning and develops problem-solving skills.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you answer both schools and work. To make the answer stronger, explain more about when mistakes should be allowed and when they may cause harm. For example, mistakes in a lab, a hospital, or a job with public safety may need close care.
task response
Your two main ideas are clear: mistakes help people learn, and they build problem-solving skills. Add one more step of detail after each example. Say exactly what the student or worker learns, and how this helps later.
task response
Your examples fit the ideas, but they are quite general. Use a more real and clear case, such as a student changing a failed test plan, or a worker fixing an error after feedback from a manager.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, two main parts, and a close. Each main part has one central idea, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “Furthermore”. Try not to repeat “This is because” and “Therefore” so often. You can sometimes join ideas with “so”, “also”, or “because” instead.
coherence and cohesion
The last line of the second main part repeats your view before the final paragraph. You can use that space to add a short point about safe limits on mistakes, then keep the final view for the conclusion only.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep the same view through the whole essay.
task response
The point about serious carelessness shows that you understand the topic is not only about allowing every mistake.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well planned, and the reader can easily see the main idea in each one.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending clearly state your main view and match each other.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: