IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays more and more people read news on the Internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain an important source of news and information for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
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Internet
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The Internet
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 provides
the
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an
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 ocean of knowledge in
few
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a few
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 seconds , just with one click. It is argued that even though a number of
people
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 prefer to read
news
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 from the
internet
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 is
raising
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rising
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 nowadays ;
newspaper
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 will always remain
important
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an important
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 and trustworthy source of
news
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 and information for many . I completely
disgree
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disagree
 with
this
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 statement
;
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,
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 as it is the
technology driven
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technology-driven
 era , so things are changing with the advancement of technology. In
this
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 essay ,
i
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I
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 will explain my prespective with detail.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason is the dependency of individuals on the
internet
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. Nowadays , everyone
have
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has
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 easy access to social media via mobile phones or laptops .
Therefore
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,
people
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 spend hours on
the
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apply
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social media and get every update within
fraction
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a fraction
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 of
seconds
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a second
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.
Additionaly
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Additionally
, there are so many online
news
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 platforms and apps that provide
every
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apply
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global updates and sensational
news
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 without charging extra cost
unlike
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, unlike
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newspaper
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newspapers
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.
Peopel
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People
 just have to pay solely for
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internet
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the internet
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and
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, and
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 they can use it for multiple purposes like education ,
news
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 or entertainment
as
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, as
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 there are so many free sites and apps.
Body paragraph 2
Although
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 the
newspaper
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 always
have
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has
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 correct and
evidence based
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evidence-based
 information ,
failed
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it failed
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 to provide
quick
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a quick
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 update . Printing and
delievery
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delivery
 of
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newspaper
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the newspaper
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 is very
time consuming
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time-consuming
.
Moreover
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 , on some national holidays and
occasions
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occasions,
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 newspapers do not publish
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as
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, as
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 a
result
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result,
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people
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 do not get any instant updates.
However
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 , on
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internet
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the internet
show examples
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people
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, people
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 can read and see the live
vedios
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videos
 of
incident
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the incident
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 .
For instance
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, on social media
people
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 can see every celebration of
new
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the new
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 year ,
whereas
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 on that day there's no
newspaper
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get
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gets
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 published or
delievered
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delivered
.
Conclusion
To sum up
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 , undoubtedly newspapers are the oldest medium of
delievering
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delivering
 the
news
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but
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, but
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 in
this
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fast paced
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fast-paced
 era
internet
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 is overshadowing it with numerous advantages like easy
accesability
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accessibility
, no
extra-expenses
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extra expenses
.
Therefore
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, in future it can be
assume
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assumed
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 that
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newspaper
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newspapers
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 may not remain the only important source of
news
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 and information.

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task response
Your opinion is clear: you disagree. Keep this same view in every part. In the end, say clearly that newspapers may not remain important for most people, not only that they may not be the only source.
task response
Give more full support for each main idea. For example, explain why speed, low cost, and live news make online news better for most people. Also explain why trust in newspapers may not be enough to keep most readers.
task response
Your example about New Year shows that online news can be fast. Make it more exact: people can watch live events and read updates at once, while a paper report comes later.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “First,” “Also,” “However,” “As a result,” and “For this reason.” Do not use “although” to start a sentence if the next idea does not fully contrast with the first one.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main point in each body paragraph. The first paragraph can focus on easy access and low cost. The second can focus only on speed and live updates. This will make the flow stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “nowadays,” “people,” and “newspaper” too often. Use simple other words such as “readers,” “print news,” “online sources,” and “these sites.”
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view from the start.
task response
You use ideas that fit the topic well, such as fast updates, free online sites, and live video.
coherence and cohesion
The order of your ideas is natural: online news benefits, limits of print news, then a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “Therefore,” “Moreover,” “However,” and “To sum up.”
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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