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Writing Samples
Band 7

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly poular.Some feel that this is positive trend,while others do not. What are your opinions in this.

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Introduction
Nowadays, fast
food
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 is one of the most accessible foods and is becoming dominant in the
food
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 market all around the world. A number of
people
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 see
this
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 trend as beneficial,
whereas
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 others consider it wrong.
This
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 essay will thoroughly discuss both views before presenting a personal opinion.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, most of the population today have intensive lifestyle, which makes time the most valuable currency.
Due to
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this
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 reason, the majority of individuals are not able to make and carry homemade
food
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.
Therefore
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, fast
food
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,
such
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 as hot dogs, hamburgers, and cheeseburgers, can be a solution to
this
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 problem. Not only does fast
food
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 offer speed, but it
also
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 offers a variety of delicious meals with different kinds of fillings and flavours, attracting
people
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 who are in a rush.
Moreover
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,
due to
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 technology,
people
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 can get fast
food
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 delivered to their workplace or home without much effort. These reasons make fast
food
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 chains become more popular, and most business
people
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 are considering it as profiting field.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, fast
food
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 poses a number of serious threats to society. First and foremost, fast
food
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 is prepared from unhealthy products, which contain a lot of sugar and fat.
This
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 may cause obesity, which is the most common health issue in the world.
Additionally
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, an excessive amount of sugar and fat increases the risk of heart attack, high blood pressure and other types of illnesses.
Furthermore
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, it is worth noting that the popularity of fast
food
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 may threaten traditional cuisine. If the majority choose fast
food
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 over traditional
food
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, local restaurants may go bankrupt, which is bad for the local economy.
Conclusion
In conclusion, considering both perspectives, I firmly believe that the popularity of fast
food
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 is negative as it contains a significant amount of unhealthy substances.

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Task response
Answer the question more directly in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you think this is a bad trend, then explain why.
Task response
Your main ideas are clear: fast food saves time, but it can harm health and local food. Add one real or clear example for each main idea to make your points stronger.
Task response
Explain the link between fast food and local business more fully. For example, say how fewer people in local restaurants can lead to less work and less money in the area.
Task response
The last paragraph is clear, but it only repeats the health point. Also restate the point about traditional food, so your final view covers all your key ideas.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, good points, bad points, and conclusion. Keep this four-part plan.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph. This helps the reader know the main point at once.
Coherence and cohesion
Some links are used many times, such as “Therefore”, “Moreover”, and “Furthermore”. Use a wider range of simple links, such as “For example”, “Also”, “However”, and “As a result”.
Coherence and cohesion
Make a few sentences shorter. Long sentences with many ideas can be hard to follow. Give one main idea, then explain it in the next sentence.
Task response
You discuss both sides of the topic and give a clear final view.
Task response
Your health point is well explained with ideas about sugar, fat, obesity, and heart problems.
Coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are easy to follow, and each paragraph has one main focus.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and match the main topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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