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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart above shows the number of homes built between 2000 and 2009 in two cities, Derby and Nottingham.

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The chart above shows the number of homes built between 2000 and 2009 in two cities, Derby and Nottingham.
The bar
gragh
Correct your spelling
graph
 illustrates the figure of new homes constructed over nine years
Linking Words
that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
 is from 2000 to 2009 .
Overall
Linking Words
 , it is clearly seen that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Derby the number of
houses
Use synonyms
 built over the time period increases ,
whereas
Linking Words
 there was variation in Nottingham .
To begin
Linking Words
 , in 2000 and
2001
Punctuation problem
2001,
show examples
 the
quantity
Check wording
number
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 of homes
were made
Wrong verb form
built
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 was
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cities .
However
Linking Words
 , there was a difference of nearly 60
houses
Use synonyms
 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
places in 2002 . From 2003 to
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
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 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 no new bouses build in Derby
the
Punctuation problem
; the
show examples
 number of
houses
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 around 110
roundly
Use the right word
roughly
show examples
. Meanwhile , in
Nottigham
Correct your spelling
Nottingham
 in 2003 and
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
show examples
it was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
50 - 60 apartments were builded and in
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
 it slightly increased to 80 homes . Moving forward , in 2008 , there was an
escalate
Replace the word
escalation
 seen in
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of new
houses
Use synonyms
 in 2008 which was 280 in Derby ,
while
Linking Words
 there was plummetin Nottigham in 2008 for new
houses
Use synonyms
 . In 2009 , the newly
build
Replace the word
built
 residential area was
apporximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 350 ,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 in Nottingham it was 250.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words houses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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